Singleness can be a lot of different things. It can mean a whole varied group of feelings and opportunities. At times we can call our singleness words that are warm and good and kind to us. Other times singleness can mean things like ALONE or STRUGGLE. I get it. All of those words have, at one time or another, summed up how I feel about my relationship to singleness.
Well-meaning people say stupid things sometimes (I’m in that party, so I can say that). But we need to clear the air, folks. Singleness is not a disease. We need to stop acting like it is. It’s a season of life…just like high school or dating or marriage or raising small children or retirement. Singleness is a gift, but only if we choose to open our eyes and see it as such.
This being said, I sometimes feel like marriage is so far in the future that it just may never come for me. Ya know? So yes, it sometimes feels like I’m inoculated against marriage…and I never agreed to it! How come I’m not “catching” the engagement epidemic going around right now?
Yes, singleness can mean different things in various times of life. In moments, I feel like being single woman is one of the greatest gifts of all. I can be free to drop my life and run to hurting people, wherever they may be on the globe. Jesus is where broken people are…so being with Him wherever He is always the greatest JOY of my heart.
Sometimes I see singleness with words like LOVE or LAUGHTER or FREEDOM. Depending on my mood or where God is taking me, it can even mean JOY or REST or ADVENTURE. My word to describe singleness can change. Right now, my word is URGENCY.
Why a word like urgency? If I’ve learned anything about this season of life called singleness is that it will probably not be forever. Maybe it will be for me…but it probably won’t be. At least, not from a statistical point of view. Most girls eventually get married. So, even if I have another ten years of being an old maid, spinster or unmarried gal…I will probably one day change my last name.
That means my days as a single woman are numbered.
Urgency. What if these days of complete and total freedom to jump into whatever mission trip or long night writing projects or life-changing opportunities are only for a brief time? Hear me say: I think you can be wonderfully effective and mission-minded as a married person. Absolutely. Totally have seen couples and families who live like eternity is at stake (which it is).
But the reality is that your focus shifts when you marry. The Apostle Paul affirms this in 2 Corinthians 7:32-35. It’s a simple and obvious fact that happens, and rightly so. Priorities have to shift when a girl marries and has a family.
This realization hits me where it hurts…because my singleness might not last forever…and I want these years to actually count in eternity.
What if I get to heaven one day and I find out that I could have been more useful in my singleness, but instead I spent it worrying and hoping and praying for marriage instead? Again, hear me say this: marriage is beautiful. God designed it to showcase the Gospel! But if we put marriage above Jesus and His plans for us right now, it suddenly becomes iniquity and covetousness which equals SIN.
Urgency. That’s what I feel when I think about being nearly 30-years-old and still single. When I step back and really think about it all in the light of eternity…I want to hit the ground running! Singleness is a beautiful time to be on adventure with Jesus in a way that no other season of life can present.
So what if I live a comfortable, selfish life as a single girl and forget all the things that REALLY matter? Wouldn’t that be a tragedy? Why not follow hard after Jesus…even if it’s hard, even if it’s expensive, even if it’s uncomfortable?
It’s important to feel that burning in my soul to give my ALL to Jesus. That’s what urgency feels like. Sometimes it feels like running around with my head cut off…because I can. As a single gal and I want to use all my energy for His purposes. Sometimes it feels like multiple trips to prison in the same year to share Jesus with women behind bars or saying YES to foreign soil so I can see the glory of God in a new dimension. Urgency can feel like your heart is pumping out of your chest because you’re way outside of your comfort zone but you don’t dare step out of the light He has put you in. It can feel like a face on fire as you realize you’ve got to speak up for the sake of truth. Or it can feel like sitting quiet at a picnic table as you hear the whisper of His Voice. Urgency can even feel like a good kick in the pants.
Urgency is a funny thing. So is singleness. Beautiful and broken at the same time.
I embrace them both…sometimes haltingly in my own humanness, but always knowing that His plans for me are good. He will be with me.
May your heart burn with a passion to love Jesus with how you LIVE your life. That’s what it’s like to live with Urgency in Your Singleness.