Living Brave and Courageous
A life on adventure with Jesus
Of Weddings and Singleness…
This must be the year of weddings. I have eleven friends getting married in 2018. ELEVEN FRIENDS. For real, I’m not kidding. It’s as if love is in the air. But what do you do when everyone is “catching the bug” and you seem to be inoculated against it? It can be humorous or hurtful, depending on how you look at it.
I hear ya, friend. It’s whoa-fully obvious when you come to all your friends’ weddings alone…and did I mention that all eleven of those friends are a few years younger (or several!) than me? That makes a big shout out too. Here’s the thing…I mostly don’t notice it until someone mentions it to me (bless their hearts, those sweet people who feel they need to remind me).
Last month I turned 30 years old and from where I stand, I’m not heading to marriage any time soon. It makes for an interesting conversation when you go to weddings at my age without a ring on your finger, or without a guy…or a boyfriend. Top those odds with actually being a HAPPY SINGLE GIRL, and that’s just plain weird. I have to admit, sometimes I have fun with that one.
“Oh, Faith, do you have a man yet?” Clearly, no. Thank you very much. I forgot until you brought it up. I’m ever so glad you reminded me.
“Oh, you’re STILL single?” Ah. Gotta love that one. Definitely my fav.
“Aww. Faith, maybe you’ll be next.” That feels remotely like pity…or like I’m broken or messed up because of my singleness.
In short, well-meaning people say stupid things. Good people. People who are your friends. They just don’t know what it sounds like…or feels like, for that matter.
First off, single friends…we’ve ALL said stupid things. So, let’s cut these well-meaning people some slack. Give some grace. We all want a little growing room, so let’s be the first to give it. People generally don’t mean to treat you like you have a “condition”, they just want to say something, and they say the wrong thing. Mercy…I’ve done that myself plenty of times.
Back to weddings…because weddings are the best times to hear these lovely remarks.
Weddings are wonderful times. I love going to weddings. I really do. But they can also hold with them the familiar reminder that you are one of the few who are alone. You are the lone single, poking yourself into a million conversations and trying to find where you fit in. You are that single gal rocking someone’s baby to sleep while everyone else slow dances with their spouse. What’s a girl to do?
If ever there were a time that I see this clearly, it’s now. With a bunch of weddings under my belt already and several to go, I’m coming to grips with my singleness in a new way.
I want to be that mysterious single gal that is thoroughly enjoying all her friends’ weddings without one ounce of jealousy or envy. I want to be able to take complete joy in these events…never stopping for a moment to notice my lack of sameness with my married friends.
The truth is, there have been moments in the last year when I have been GLAD I was single at these weddings…because there needed to be an unmarried gal to be the gopher. I’ve got a few fun stories about being the single friend who got some crazy jobs…but I’ll save those for a different day.
I have atleast two favorite moments at every wedding…the first is always when the bride walks down the isle. This reminds me that one day, my Heavenly Groom is coming for me and I can’t wait to catch a glimpse of His face. He continues to pursue my heart, day after day, patiently and weddings remind me of His steadfast love.
The second moment is when the bride and groom are announced as the new Mr. and Mrs. It’s just a crazy amazing thing that a covenant just happened between God, a man and his wife. Beautiful pictures of grace and faithfulness.
Sometimes there are multiple moments at any given wedding that will go down in my memory as favorites. Like when the kiddos in a wedding go screaming down the isle or decide to take their shoes off and throw them during the ceremony. It’s just the unpredictable and hilarious part of friends getting married.
Yes, I go to weddings with JOY. I rock the babies to sleep. I laugh with everyone. I clap like crazy at the announcement of a new couple. And I dance with the littlest people who need a partner. That’s what you do when all your friends are getting married…and you’re not. It’s okay. That’s what happy single girls do.
Who is your Daddy?
“Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.” 1 John 3:1 (KJV)
One of my life passions is helping women understand the depth of God’s love for them. Of course, humanly speaking, wrapping our minds around the limitless love of God is impossible. However, even if we catch a glimpse of that unconditional love He has for us, it completely transforms the way we see our Heavenly Father. It’s all about Who we belong to, girls!
I once saw a powerful 3 minute video clip by Pricilla Shirer that I want to share with you. (and if you can’t watch this video, you can read the words to it at www.goingbeyond.com/blog/who-do-you-belong/)
Every time I see this clip (and trust me, I’ve watched it a lot), I want to stand up and cheer for my Heavenly Daddy! The fact that this limitless Daddy chose to become Father to a limited girl like me… that is amazing! I’m in awe of that kind of love. That kind of grace overwhelms me. What mercy and kindness!
I’ve also noticed the more I focus on Him and Who He is, the more I see myself and my surroundings in a different light. When I am secure in His love, not much else matters, does it? It changes the way I see myself in the mirror in the morning. It changes the way I view the ministry He has set before me. It completely transforms the way I view big problems in life…because they’re not too big for Him.
I love seeing the first part of 1 John 3:1 in this way too… “Look at how great a love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children. And we are!…” (HCSB) We are!
We are His daughters! Princesses of King Jesus. Savor that incredible thought for a little while, gals. Dwell on it. Think about the power of that small sentence. You are His little girl.
You. Are. His.
Nothing can stop Him from loving you… “For I am persuaded , that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present , nor things to come , Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
What is Adequate?
“For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16, emphasis mine)
Kids have a way of bringing new life and vantage points to everyday things. Their questions spur in us the desire to search for answers. Answers that we perhaps didn’t even know we needed. I have been pushed to dig deep into God’s Word…simply because a younger sibling asked me a curious question.
“What is adequate?” The question came from my 7-year-old sister. I was cleaning the kitchen and her question caught me off guard. Where did that come from? I thought. I mean, seriously, ADEQUATE isn’t normally a word that a seven-year-old spits out fluently….and it had rolled off her tongue like CAT. I stopped washing the counter and turned my head to her. She was sitting at the table doing some school work with her pencil and seemed unaffected by her strange curiosity.
I sighed a bit. Explaining the meaning of simple words has never been easy for me. My brain churned, trying to pull small words from my vocabulary that would satisfy a seven-year-old’s curiosity. “Well…Adequate means like…you’ve got what it takes.” She looked at me and then went back to her work, but I could tell that my answer wasn’t enough for her. “It means…enough…it means you’re enough. If you’re adequate, you’re enough. You have what it takes. Does that make sense?” She nodded and then went back to her math problems. This time, I felt like she understood, and like I would be hearing the word fall from her mouth in a sentence in the near future. I know her…when she learns what a word means and how to use it, she will use it.
But then a nagging question hung in my mind. What IS adequate? I realized my little sister had over heard me asking for prayer in conjunction with the statement that I felt INADEQUATE for the task ahead of me. What is adequate? It struck me that this seven-year-old had not said, “What does adequate mean?” She said, “What is adequate?” That was an entirely a different matter.
What is adequate? The question spun around in my brain bringing a thousand other questions to my mind. My heart resonated with the truths I slowly discovered. What is enough? Am I enough? Do I have what it takes? Am I adequate for the job? Am I worthy? Am I enough…adequate?
We all face these questions in life…more than once. They probe into our souls when our schedule is crammed and we are overwhelmed. They creep up when someone in our family says hurtful things. They stand at our doorstep when we are about to take a leap of faith into ministry. Sometimes…they stare at us when we look in the mirror in the morning. Am I enough? Am I smart enough? Am I beautiful enough? Am I talented enough? Am I strong enough? Am I spiritual enough?
The questions wrap their greedy fingers around our souls and sap the joy of life from us. Instead of living fully…we live wondering. Questioning our worth. Asking questions that block our effectiveness for God and leach the life out of our beings.
Then the breath of God…”Ye are a CHOSEN generation, a ROYAL priesthood, a HOLY nation…”(1 Pet. 2:9, emphasis mine). He came and “gave Himself for us, that He might REDEEM us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.” (Titus 2:14, emphasis mine) “Ye have not chosen me, but I have CHOSEN you, and ORDAINED you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit.” (John 15:16, emphasis mine) “I have LOVED thee with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3, emphasis mine) “My grace is SUFFICIENT for thee, for my STRENGTH is made perfect in weakness.” (1 Corinthians 12:9, emphasis mine). HE is enough. HE is adequate. HE is worthy. HE is sufficient.
Beautiful daughter of God…do you want to know why you are enough? You are enough, because Jesus is and He said you are! If you weren’t worth it…there would have been no cross. No redemption. No sacrificial love. Ah, but you were enough! You were enough that He said YES to the cross for you! He went to that rugged cross on Calvary because He deemed you worthy of His love and forgiveness and outpouring of blood.
His choice made you worthy. His love made you beautiful. His redemption made you enough.
I stood in the kitchen with a dish rag in my hand and marveled at this mystery. That I, an unworthy daughter should have the favor of God rest upon my head. My past is forgiven. My scars are beautiful. I am enough, because He is enough. I am worthy, because He is worthy to be praised.
My mind went to a song that I love. It’s called, “My worth is not in what I own.”
“My worth is not in what I own, not in the strength of flesh and bone. But in the costly wounds of love at the cross. My worth is not in skill or name, in win or lose, in pride or shame. But in the blood of Christ that flowed at the cross.
“As summer flowers we fade and die; Fame, youth, and beauty hurry by. But life eternal calls to us at the cross. I will not boast in wealth or might, or human wisdom’s fleeting light. But I will boast in knowing Christ at the cross.
“Two wonders here that I confess, My worth and my unworthiness. My value fixed, my ransom paid at the cross.” (Keith and Kristyn Getty and Graham Kendrick)
Dear Sister…your worth is summed up in the cross. Your beauty is a reflection of your Father Who calls you ransomed, chosen, and loved. Don’t let the voices of the world tell you that you have to achieve to win His favor. He has made you beautiful and worthy and loved. His work on the cross has made you adequate to stand before God. His blood has made you enough!
So next time those ugly questions of self-worth probe your soul…remember your answer. Your answer stands on a hill called Calvary. Your answer reigns in heaven and in your heart! He has made you HIS…and because of that, you are beautiful, worthy. Girl, you are enough….because of His sacrifice.
Live fully…laugh long…remember that we have the glorious truth. We can live beautifully and purposefully knowing that our worth is in HIM, not in ourselves. That kind of promise inserted into our souls can create a radiance that only Jesus can get the glory for.
What is adequate? What is enough? You are friend…because HE is.
(Originally published May 9th, 2015…and still pondering this amazing truth. Jesus is enough.)
Carry the Light
Matthew 5:14-16
“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
Last week an ice storm came through and our power went out for a few days. This presented some interesting challenges in day-to-day life. When you’re a kid, this becomes one thrilling long journey. When you’re an adult….not so much. After eighteen hours I was ready for power again.
We have wood heat (praise the Lord!) so despite the chilling cold, we were able to keep warm and our gas stove allowed us to cook, but the adventure wore off quickly for me. Who wants to take a candle to the bathroom? Or have to carry a flashlight in your pocket all the time? Or watch the laundry pile up because the washer and dryer are out of commission? And I must have said, “Please shut the refrigerator!” a thousand times. What is it about a power outage that makes people so hungry that they have to survey the refrigerator contents twice an hour?
Two days without power shows you a lot about life….and attitude. Believe me. At the end of the second day (when I was thoroughly sick of no lights) I had a light bulb moment. Almost literally.
It was pitch black, and even the candles spread all over the house didn’t cut the darkness very well. I was sitting on the couch in the thick blackness. I don’t remember what I was doing, except for having a sour attitude. I mean, really, what can you do when it’s dark and you have NO electricity? Then this light entered the room…it was my little sister. She is not an adult, so this was still a huge adventure for her. She was LOVING the moment and I was in the same house HATING it.
She was holding a small glass dish with a tiny tea light candle in it. Strange how the moment hit me, but it was like she was HOLDING LIGHT. You really couldn’t see her glass dish because the light obscured the container. It really looked like she was cupping light in her hands…and she was bringing it to me. “Faith, look!” she said.
I stared at it. All I could think is how BEAUTIFUL it was. This cupping of light in her hands. It made me want to hold it in mine. To carry it around the room like a little child and share it with others. To wonder at it and be filled with the adventure that was in those sparkling eyes. Why couldn’t I find joy in this moment?
The light was amazingly bright. It seemed so luminous. Chasing away the shadows and lighting the face of this little girl. This child bringing light to me. I had to smile. I couldn’t help it. The moment was beautiful….and since phones don’t run on electricity, I took a picture.
When the moment was past, it got me to thinking…what do I look like to this dark, dying world? Do I cup my hands like a willing servant and carry the light to dark places? Do I smile like a child and enjoy the journey…carrying the Light, the Beauty to others? Is my life’s light bright enough to draw them to JESUS?
I have this picture as my phone’s wallpaper right now…and it’s a visual reminder that I am to carry the Light wherever I go. I want to cup JESUS in my hands and take Him to the dark places.
“The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.” Isaiah 9:2
(This post was originally written on January 9, 2016…and today? It’s message still motivates me to carry His Light to a dark world.)
Persistence
The following post I wrote nearly two months ago…but because it was so fresh, I chose not to post it. Since then I’ve been learning what it means to be PRESENT even when I’m no longer Ms. Mary’s primary caregiver. Even that requires Persistence.
It’s a hard thing to fall and then get up and try again. Painful. Challenging. Like trudging through molasses to get somewhere. There are days I want to quit because life beats me up and it’s easy to lose the wind in my sails. When everything seems to be coming at me full force and I can’t get out from under the chaos.
I’ve had one of those weeks. Adventure isn’t always peaches and cream, I’m learning. When I choose Jesus as my Guide it more often than not means struggle and rainy days and hard questions and mountain climbing when I really don’t know what I’m doing. It means looking into the face of change and smiling because He knows what He’s doing even when I’m incapable and scared. It means persistence. Pushing through the clouds and clinging to what He wants for my life even when it doesn’t always make sense.
Change is a common visitor in my life. I’m not friendly with him, but he seems to show up anyway. Sometimes he shows up during beautiful times like when I get a new niece or nephew or one of my friends get married. Other times, he shows up when I’d rather him not. These past several days have been “one of those times”. Caregiving hasn’t ever been my dream…but it seems to follow me. My sister and I have been taking care of a 98-year-old lady for the past nine months who has been like a local great-grandma to us. She has dementia and severe arthritis and could no longer be at home alone. It started slow…just nights and an occasional pop in. Then it progressed to more and more as her circumstances worsened.
Over the past three weeks, it’s went downhill fast. These past ten days have been long. Short nights with little to no sleep and long days of care. If I’m honest, I’ve even felt a little stir-crazy. It’s been a long road. The reality is, we can’t keep up the pace. There’s only two of us and we honestly can’t do it all. There aren’t many options for those of us who live in the middle of nowhere, so her family opted for a nursing home. I cried. Not because I was in disagreement, but because I wanted to see it through. I wanted to walk her to heaven’s door and for it all to tie up neatly and be done. Closure. A little part of me felt like I was abandoning my mission before it was complete.
We called the ambulance after a long day of battling side effects from her new meds last Tuesday. I saw it in her eyes…she wasn’t right and I knew I couldn’t help her anymore. My sister stood there and said what I was too afraid to think…we needed to call for help. Sisters are good for tough moments like that. In the back of my mind I wanted to deny it, because a little piece of me knew it might be the end. It would mean change and I felt like the fight had been already whipped out of me.
I knelt next to her worn out recliner and held her hand as the First Responders and EMTs asked a million questions. Date of birth. Medications. Food. Medical history. A slight daze settled on my brain, the sleepless nights and emotional roller coaster was catching up with me. Charity righted my ship a few times…helping fill in the blanks.
Since I’m the primary caregiver, they told me I could ride in the ambulance to the hospital with her. As I could feel all the hurt and angst come floating to the top. Half way through the trip, the emotions overwhelmed me and in an effort to stifle the tears, I sighed a deep, heavy sigh. The driver turned to me and said, “We are almost there”, as if I was only tired of the drive. Inside I felt like screaming for help. The weight on my chest was all too familiar.
Persistence.
How do you push through the fog when you don’t even know what direction you’re facing? What do you do when the circumstances of our fallen, wicked world knock you down? I’ll admit…more than once I’ve just stayed laying there for too long.
Then there’s persistence. Determination gets up and begins again. Even if it means starting over. Even if it means getting a new mission. Even if it means re-evaluating our approach and tweaking your presentation.
I stayed at the hospital until nearly 2am…answering round after round of questions from nurses and doctors about some of the same things again. I crashed when I got home…weary in body, soul, and spirit.
The next morning, I cleaned up her house (I’ve been living there full-time for the past week or so), canceled her hair appointment, and tried to catch up on some long-overdue projects at home. I was waiting for the call that she was coming home so I could resume my post as caregiver.
The phone call wasn’t what I expected. She’s not coming home.
Instead, I heard she has kidney failure. She had slept the whole day without pain meds and hadn’t eaten or drank anything. My mind was having flashbacks …these signs were like red flags waving in the wind and shouting at me. I’ve been here before and somehow, it feels both different and strangely familiar.
The feeling I felt was failure. Why couldn’t I walk her to heaven’s door? I wanted to be there for her…to hold her hand and walk with her through the valley. What if she gets scared? What if she can’t see anyone she recognizes in the dementia fog?
So now I stand at the door of change again. Wondering—all this time I suddenly have back—what if I don’t want it? What if I’d rather be giving meds and applesauce or changing adult diapers and smiling when she told me unbelievable stories about her “visitors” that she can see and I can’t? What if I’d rather everything just stay the same?
Persistence and determination are amazing virtues…but I feel like the fight has been knocked out of me. I want to be faithful. I want to stand firm. I want to be trustworthy and loyal to my Captain. I’ve also found that He walks through some rough country to get to where we are going…and I feel weary and tired and emotional and sad. It wasn’t supposed to end like this.
Then I see the nest.
Often, God speaks to me through word pictures…apparently, I learn that way. My brother had parked his Jeep in the driveway and I noticed that a bird had built a nest in one of the headlights. He drove it one day, pulling the nest out before he left. The next day, the bird built another nest. The 2nd nest was removed and by the next day it was built again. This went on for days. Six nests later, I was wondering how long it would take this bird to get the point. The odds were against it.
Persistence.
What would it take for you to love difficult people? How many times will you walk through sorrow and choose to love again? How many times will I be willing to say YES to being a caregiver?
Today, I want to be done with caregiving. It’s too hard. Painful.
Then I see that nest…and I wonder. How much am I willing to risk? Couldn’t I be a little more persistent, patient and enduring? I’ll keep building…time and again…knowing that Jesus will hold me together.
That’s persistence.
Climb for Perspective
Perspective is everything…and I tend to lose proper perspective easily. Often. I am a chronic perspective-loser. (If that’s even a word.) Two weeks ago was one of those times.
I was away from home on a work trip with my family and trying to juggle the normal responsibilities from my perch in the South. It was one of those times when the to do list in my brain was overwhelming me and making me a bit crazy. My fuse was getting smaller and smaller and my attitude was challenging me hourly. With an upcoming conference and other ministry opportunities, I was trying to get some work done, despite my being away from home. All of this and more were piling up in my mind. One of those times where you mark off two things on your to do lists and add four. At night my brain wouldn’t shut off. I was tired emotionally. I was discouraged.
Then I climbed a mountain.
Ok…it was more like a high hill with lots of rocks, but none the less, they call it a mountain. Pinnacle Mountain in Arkansas. I was told it was a “hike”, and if I had been in shape, it would have been just that…but it was more like a humbling stop-and-go climb for me. Three quarters of a mile seems like an easy hike until you put it 1,011 feet in the air. That changes things tremendously. The terrain was very rocky and thankfully, I am told we were on the “easier side”. That’s a very good thing. Otherwise…I’m not sure if I would have made it in one piece.
It was a hike. Took me an hour to summit, being 26 and sorely out of shape. I kept hearing my heart pounding out of my chest and my heavy breathing. It’s a very effective way to shut me up since I couldn’t talk and huff and puff simultaneously.
Every 10 minutes I stopped for a breather. Every bench had my name on it. My two teenage siblings were ruthless in their fun ribbing. “The old lady” was climbing a mountain! I waved them off…they were right, I was older than them AND out of shape. I reminded them that they didn’t have to run ahead and prove themselves! “Let’s enjoy the trip” really translated to “I am dying, can you slow down?”
Along the way, I was met by many athletic folks jumping and skipping rock to rock…as I hoisted myself slowly from one to the other. They exhausted me even more just watching them. We saw one man, probably in his late sixties or older, who was jogging downhill at a much younger speed. Our friend who took us on the hike said that same gentleman is there all the time. That knowledge wore me out too. People take this mountain climbing serious…like it’s a favorite pastime, or something. I mused at my very different ideas of a favorite hobby. None of which were rock climbing.
After an hour, and several bench breaks, we arrived at the top. I was windless and tired. My mind rolled over my to do list back home and the emails I needed to reply to…and I really needed to finish that blog! My shirt was wet from sweat and my legs felt remarkably similar to noodles. As I crested the ridge, I appreciated the breeze…especially in a damp shirt.
Then I looked down into the valley below and smiled. I wanted to congratulate myself for not fainting on the way up, but the view took my breath away (at least what was left of it). There was my Creator’s handiwork in full view. The sun was starting to set and the river below snaked around the mountain. In the far distance, I saw a sailboat…like a pin head on the horizon. The sky was exploding into color and the breeze was perfect. Below, I saw the city…this city I had just came grumbling from. The same place that seemed so big, and scary, and overwhelming. Now it looked ridiculously small. I put my hand against the spot where I had previously been and it all fit in the palm of my hand.
How my perspective had changed. Quickly. In an hour of climbing. Suddenly…my to do list vanished. My swimming brain stilled. My heart was in awe. I couldn’t get over the sail boat. It was so tiny. Then, as if in a whisper, I felt a truth drop into my heart. “There’s my to do list,” I thought. When I am right up on it, it’s HUGE. But when I am with the Father, it’s a speck of nothing on the horizon.
As a child I always wondered what Christ meant when He said, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) The way I saw it, with Christ came a rough road ahead. Worth it? Absolutely! It’s just that the promise of a lighter burden didn’t make a whole lot of sense. I didn’t see lighter loads. Since fully surrendering my life to Christ, I had a whole lot more on my plate. So what did Jesus mean by a “light burden” and an “easy yoke”?
It seemed, standing there on top of that mountain, I understood what He meant. He didn’t mean the problems would disappear. He meant that your perspective would be changed. On that mountain, I was lighter. My load seemed like nothing. Weightless. Was my to do list erased? No. In fact, I knew it was getting longer at home while I stood on Pinnacle Mountain. My perspective had changed. All those details that I had been stressing over? They were all a pin-head sailboat on the horizon compared to the wealth of God’s abilities. He doesn’t need me to run around with my head cut off. He doesn’t need me to complete His tasks…He chooses me and uses me for His glory. Big difference.
There I was 1,011 feet up in the air and all the dots were connecting for me. My problems aren’t big. My to do list isn’t impossible. My opportunities aren’t overwhelming. I make them that way. I blow them up into monstrous proportions and then God has to come along and deflate them when I am at my wits end. He calls me to climb a mountain…and then He points to my sailboat of a problem. It’s really not that big from up there. It’s actually very achievable. It fits under my pinky finger.
I know I stared for a long time into the valley that day, overwhelmed in a different way. This shrinking feeling washed over me. Freedom feels very light. In fact, it’s weightless. And for the first time in a long time, I felt weightless. It wasn’t my job to be frantic and coordinate perfection. It’s my job to climb the mountain and be obedient. He does the rest. Roll up my sleeves in diligence? YES. But not get in God’s way of planning and making all things beautiful IN HIS TIME.
The sun was setting and we had to leave the mountain top. To be honest, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stamp this image deep into my heart. Every river bend, every church steeple, every road and every sail boat. I wanted it etched in my memory. I wanted this new perspective never to fade. I wanted this mountain to change me.
How often do we allow the circumstances of life to rob us of our joy and sap us of energy? We blow up our problems and create bigger ones. However real they are, we must not let them rule our lives and steal our zest for living. That relationship that is crumbling…it IS painful, but it must not keep you in the valley. Climb up, dear friend! That test final that seems impossible? One rock at a time, sister…move steadily to the top and your perspective will change. Stay on the mountain top as long as you can and carve the things you see there in your heart forever. Dwell on His power. His majesty. HIM.
As I started down into the valley again, I thought a lot about what I had experienced on the mountain. I carried with me the realization that sometimes…amid the struggles in life…I just need to push the pause button and climb. I needed to MAKE time to climb. To be with Him and rest in His perspective.
In case you’re wondering, yes, I fully expect in my humanness to need another mountain climb again one day. Maybe even soon. We all need a visual reminder. When that moment comes again…I will climb. But for today…I am remembering that little pin head of a sail boat and praising God for His power over my problems, however big they may seem at the moment.
What is your perspective today? Climb a mountain. Climb a tree. Climb for perspective. Live in the Presence of the Father and remember that “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)
Climb, sister, climb!
(Originally published May 19, 2015 on the Polished Cornerstones blog.)
Dear Graduate…
Twelve years ago I graduated from high school.
Now if you’re a teen reading this…you’re thinking I’m old right now. Twelve years is a long time, but you’ll be here before you know it, friend! So pick your jaw up from the floor and put your eyeballs back into your head.
This is kind of like a letter to all my young friends graduating. High school graduation is a big milestone. It’s hard work to get through school. The culture of it alone can be torturous.
So here it is, graduates….my perspective. What would I say to myself twelve years ago? Learn from my mistakes and jump ahead of the game!
Dear Graduate,
You’re embarking on the journey of a lifetime. It will be thrilling. It will be amazing. It may even be scary at times. But your Guide will never be far away and He is orchestrating each leg of the road ahead. Four things I would say to you above all else:
- Trust HIM. There will be days of heartache and pain and unexplained circumstances. This is life in our fallen, broken world. No matter how difficult or rough the journey, remember that He is Faithful. He is worthy of your trust. He is capable of holding your heart…even when it is breaking. He is the only unchanging One and the only One Who will always be there, always be near, always smiling and singing over you. Trust Him. Fully. Freely. With all of yourself, trust Him.
- Learn to say NO to things that don’t really matter. Say no to things that will bog you down and threaten your walk with Christ. Say NO to things that will clog your heart from the truth of God’s Word. Say NO to the things that aren’t God’s best for you. Often, the good things in life will keep you from the best, friend. Always reach for the BEST.
- Love people well. You will meet a lot of different kind of people in life…some will be easy to love and others won’t even be likeable. Choose to put on Jesus and love people well. All people. Broken people. People that aren’t like you. People who rub you wrong. Love people like Jesus does and you will change the world.
- Never let your fearful NOs stand in the way of your impossibilities for Jesus. The biggest obstacles to doing great, impossible things for God are when we let fear get the best of us and say NO. Don’t say no to Him. It may look ridiculously impossible…but that’s His business. And quite frankly, He enjoys the impossible. I have found in my own life when I say NO it’s because of fear: fear or rejection by family and friends, fear of the unknowns, fear of the outcome, fear of failure, and on and on. I wish I could say I always said yes to Him…but sadly, I do not always follow obediently. Those choices are some of my most regretted. Yes, there is grace and forgiveness, but I just can’t help wondering what life would have been like if I would have said YES.
In short, SAY YES to Jesus. Always say yes to Jesus.
Life isn’t one giant leap after another…it is small steps. Take each small step in His direction and amazing, impossible things will happen.
There will be thousands of things people say to you about these next few years of life…and to some degree, they may expect or even encourage you to throw wisdom out the door and “find yourself”, which really means “be selfish”. I’m saying the opposite. Dig in. Make His Word your number one textbook. Go deep with Jesus in these foundational years. Do hard things. It’s ok to be different from the world…to go against the flow for the sake of Christ. You have what it takes… I know that about you. You have determination, zeal and a love for life that will take you far if you use it for God’s glory.
Being radically in love with Him will change your heart AND everyone who comes in contact with you. John Wesley said, “Set yourself on fire with passion and people will come for miles to watch you burn.” I’m in agreement…so all that to say—Get on fire…for Jesus.
Today is the day, graduate. Get on fire!
Sincerely, A friend who’s been there before
DoorKeepers
The word “DoorKeeper” has been on my mind lately. While ministering in prison this past week, I tumbled on Psalm 84 again. It seemed full of meaning and purpose…both for me and the women I was talking to. The question kept mulling around in my mind: “What does it mean to be a DoorKeeper?
Several weeks ago I was at the coffee shop, studying and journaling. A scrap of paper fell out of my journal and I picked it up. On it were the words: “I want to be a DoorKeeper! Psalm 84:10” It was dated April 3, 2017.
That scrap of paper…I wrote eight days before Ms. Laurie went home to heaven.
Psalm 84:10 (ESV), “For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.”
The Message Bible says in the last part of the verse: “I’d rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.”
When I wrote those words last year on a scrap of paper, more than anything I wanted to hear God’s voice. Just to know that He was there. IN my heartache. IN my sorrow. IN my loss. Did He really hear me? I felt like teenage Joshua in Exodus 33:11 (HCSB), “The Lord spoke with Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his assistant, the young man Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the inside of the tent.”
In the deepest parts of my soul…I was starving for the face of God. Begging for Him to show up. So, when I came across this verse in Psalm 84, I felt like the cry of my heart was showing up in black letters on the page. I wanted to be where He was. Like Joshua, I didn’t want to leave the tent. If that meant staking my claim at the door of His house, I was staying. Right. There.
Ever been there? Completely wrecked and at the end of yourself? Waiting for the breath of God to come over you? Wondering if His robe would ever come close enough for you to reach out and touch?
A DoorKeeper in the House of my God.
If all I’m doing is scrubbing floors for Jesus or standing at the door and opening it for other people to walk through…isn’t that enough? Maybe…just maybe…if I stay right there at the door of His dwelling, I’ll see His face more often. I’ve tasted of His mercy. I have a seat at His table. So why not stand at the door and invite others to come in? To open the door for those crippled by sin, too sick to open the door themselves, or saddened by life? I want to be a doorkeeper.
So, last April, I wrote that on my scrap of paper. “I want to be a doorkeeper! Psalm 84:10. April 3, 2017.”
Doorkeeper’s jobs aren’t always easy. They stand between the world and the House of God. A bridge for people to see Jesus in the face of another human. Doorkeepers are real people with skin on. They are flesh and blood folks who make mistakes but know about the Hope of the Gospel and the Healing of the Cross. They stand at the door and hold it open for anyone who wants more. Anyone who needs help. Everyone who craves lasting peace or wholeness of spirit. Sometimes they open the door for someone who needs to go Home.
Doorkeepers are most often in the brokenness of the world but with the Hope of Jesus in their eyes. They aren’t afraid to do hard things and they live Brave because they know that Jesus is the answer to the world’s deepest hunger. You can find doorkeepers doing the unwanted jobs because they know it’s all about HIM and nothing about them. You can find them taking care of the sick, visiting prisoners, feeding the hungry, and talking to strangers. You will find them scrubbing floors, working in the nursery, teaching Sunday School or going somewhere in the world where they need to hear about Jesus.
Doorkeepers aren’t super-human. They are just people who have prayed the dangerous prayer…to be used for His glory. And they are content to point to Jesus while holding open the door to the House of God.
I’m not sure about you, but that sounds like the coolest job ever to me.
From where I’m standing today, a whole year after I prayed that prayer, I can tell you this: It has been the most ALIVE year I’ve ever lived and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Hard? Absolutely. It’s been the most difficult, life-shifting and challenging year I’ve ever had. It’s also been the year I’ve seen Jesus in the most incredible ways. I’ve seen lives redeemed. I’ve seen people come to Jesus for the first time. I’ve seen forgiveness in action. I’ve seen the truth of the Word literally CHANGE people…starting with me. And on my longest days of being a doorkeeper, I’ve went to bed saying, “There is nowhere else in the world I’d rather be today.”
This past week as I stood in front of a room full of women who had prison sentences for various lengths and for different reasons, I told them about being a DoorKeeper. In their faces, I could see the idea connect, because wherever you are on planet earth, you can be in the Presence of God. You can see His glory in prison. I told them: “There’s a job opening at the House of God for another DOORKEEPER. The only requirement is that you know Jesus. Crave His Presence. Let’s be like Joshua and stake out wherever He is. When that happens, you can bet people will notice and our lives will literally be Living Invitations to Jesus.” There were some resounding AMENS and the thought occurred to me…how different the world would be if there were more DoorKeepers and less DoorSlammers.
You know, the DoorSlammer type. They like to go in and out of God’s house with their click of friends. They are too busy to notice the hurting people behind them who can’t quite get the door open alone…so they inadvertently slam the door in their faces. DoorSlammers are well-meaning people who are self-absorbed and like their comfort zone too much to reach out to those who are different from themselves. Too many times I’ve been a DoorSlammer when I should have been a DoorKeeper.
I pray I now live as a DoorKeeper. Craving His Presence. Seeking His face.
It’s a great thing to be at the door of God’s House. His glory surrounds me. His love is toward me. I camp out here. At the edge of the tent, here at the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of His face. He is here. He is Jehovah. He has healed and brought hope to my weary soul. Time and again. It’s been an unforgettable year of ups and downs, but I have seen His face! I have heard His voice. I am learning to stake out at the door of His habitation.
Life Calling- Part 4
#4: Stop Chasing and Just Start!
In our Christian culture it feels like we LABOR over our life callings. Perhaps even to a fault. As if it’s our job to run after it and discover it on our own.
Here’s the deal. I think we need to be living our life intentionally and in full obedience to God’s will. His desires for us need to be priority. But what if we are putting too much energy into CHASING our calling and FINDING OURSELVES, when God’s plan is for us just to start where we are?
Believe me, I know how many books are out there about finding yourself. It’s a big deal in our current world. We toil at finding ourselves like we are a hopeless mess without direction. We ARE all of those things…without Jesus.
Y’all. We’ve gotta stop chasing our dreams and finding ourselves and running after a calling. We need to be putting that energy into seeking HIS FACE. We need to be finding Jesus…not trying to look for an important label to slap on our life so others are impressed with us.
The more I study the Word of God, the more I realize that He has everything my soul needs to be healthy. He knows who I am. He knows where He wants me to go. He knows what’s best for my life. When my focus shifts to His face, I am complete. I don’t have to stomp around dizzy with trying to find myself and chase my agenda. That’s a selfish and narrow-minded way to live.
So, if we aren’t supposed to chase our Calling (because it’s really not our job), what should we be doing?
When Jesus ascended into heaven, He left a Grand Calling for all of us. We often refer to it as the Great Commission. Every single Christ-follower on the planet has this command:
“All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20 HCSB
What makes your heart bleed in connection with this Grand Calling? Do you love teaching children? Are you burdened for the homeless? Do you connect with the elderly at your local nursing home? What about broken people with addictions or checkered pasts? Maybe you are a prayer warrior. Or someone who loves reaching out to teenage girls with unplanned pregnancies.
I can guarantee you this: You are called to somehow fulfill this Grand Calling. You may be a Goer…someone who will go to the hurting and literally give them the Gospel. A Goer will jump on a plane and travel to the ends of the earth, if needs be. Or…you may be a Sender. You use your resources to send the Goers of the world. You give financially. You pray your heart out for them. You give them high-fives and write far away missionaries words of encouragement. Either way, you are CALLED to be involved in the harvest.
The Great Commission isn’t an optional missionary program. It’s a COMMAND to ALL believers. It’s essentially one of the things that connect us as Jesus-followers. We all have a common goal…reaching the world with Gospel and discipling them to go out and multiply.
Start where you are. Stop chasing the all-allusive calling and start rolling up your sleeves for THE Calling. You don’t have to have a label to make a difference. You just need Jesus and a heart of obedience. Jump in and just start somewhere. Today.
Start with one. Start on your corner. Start at your work station. Start at your church. Start with your relatives. Start with your neighborhood. Start right where you are.
Don’t wait to get it all right and have a five-year-plan (whatever that even is!). Begin with open eyes to the needy world around you and an open heart to the Jesus Who knows exactly where you should be.
Don’t overcomplicate the simple things. Pray as you walk forward…knowing that if it isn’t Jesus, He will slam the door in your face. Take the next step. Stop trying to find yourself and start looking for Jesus.
I promise you, He will show up.
One day, your calling in life will be glaringly obvious to you and everyone around you. It will connect people in need and your passion and the Great Commission in a beautiful tapestry called YOU. Created by the Great Author and Finisher Himself.
Don’t wait. Start right now.
(This is the last of a Four-Part Series on Life Calling. Thanks for joining the conversation!)
Life Calling- Part 3
#3- One Calling, Multiple Missions.
Young ladies often ask me when I discovered God’s Calling on my life. They all want to know when my purpose was obvious for me and my AHA moment of realization that God had called me to something or someone specific. Funny thing is, I really can’t put my finger on a day…but I know the general time frame and (spoiler alert!) it really wasn’t that long ago.
I’ll be the first to say this: I believe God can reveal His will for our lives when we are young. He has called young people in their youth for thousands of years…so it’s altogether possible and beautiful. Part 4 of this series will deal with the “chasing our calling” idea but let me just mention that if we spent half the time DOING THE STUFF as we did SEARCHING FOR THE CALLING, we’d probably be better off. Jesus wants obedience and a willing heart…He isn’t waiting for us to “get it” so He can slap a Calling label on us. More on that next time.
So, what about “finding your calling” and “life purpose”?
Sometimes when I talk to people about the places and things Jesus has led me into, they have puzzled looks on their faces. Not necessarily because my life is amazing…but because it’s really random. To the naked eye my various rabbit trails of ministry seem disconnected and completely haphazard at times.
Writing. Working with teenage girls. Planning women’s Retreats. Leading home Bible studies. Caregiving for someone with cancer or kidney failure. Videoing and editing testimonies of men and women. Meeting friends for coffee. Speaking in women’s prisons. Missions in Ethiopia.
It seems rather unsystematic, doesn’t it?
There was a time in my life when I thought Mission and Calling were the same thing. Now, I think they work together but are different in function. I have one Life Calling and I think I’ll have it for the rest of my life. However, I’ve had multiple Missions in my life…and plenty more to come in the future, I’m sure.
My calling started when I was young, but I didn’t wake up to what it was until recently. That’s when I looked back over my life and saw where God had woven my unexpected circumstances together to create the picture of who I am.
Your calling is what motivates you to do what you do. It’s how God has wired you to operate and fulfill the Great Commission.
My calling is to the Broken people of the world. I’m way more motivated to speak to broken people about Jesus. I have a different kind of boldness and love and compassion when I’m in face to face with those who are hurting…and it motivates me in a whole new level. That’s my calling in action.
Your mission will change from time to time. You may have multiple missions at a time, depending on how you live out your calling at the moment.
I’ve had missions come and go. Some of my missions have changed based on location or circumstances. A few missions are for set time periods and then they are over.
Calling and Mission is like the difference between the War and a Battle. You’ve got to fight the battles to win the War. You can’t have one without the other and they are inseparably linked arm and arm. One motivates the other. One determines the other’s outcome.
I’ve led home Bible studies since the summer of 2013, but each study has a period of time that eventually wraps up. Then I pray about what’s next. Currently, I’m in a season of stepping back from leading studies because of other “missions” on my plate…but I crave “getting back in the game”. The women’s retreats I am privileged to help plan have set dates. When I go work in the prisons, my trips have determined times where I go and return home. When I step into my role as Caregiver, I know at the completion of my mission there, my friend will be in heaven.
I’ve come to believe that we each have One Calling, and Multiple Missions.
Look at Jesus! He called His disciples…and He didn’t change the way they operated…He changed their current missions. He made fishermen to be “fishers of men”. He took their natural motivation and used it in missions that would carry out His plan.
Perhaps it’s easier to look back on your life and discover your calling was right in front of you the whole time. It’s probably obvious if you look for it that way. What has made your heart burst with excitement and what weighs heavy on your mind? What are the gifts and talents that God has placed in you? Where are the places you feel the most useful and “on target”? What kind of needs do you always notice in others? When do you always feel the most compassion? What makes you weep for others?
There have been seemingly peculiar things that have made me feel full…like I was living in the exact purpose He has created for me. They have been scattered instances where I stepped into His Light and felt so flooded with boldness and a full heart that I thought I would burst. THOSE moments are the ones that helped me pin-point my life purpose.
When I lined them all up I saw that I feel the most called to people who are broken and out of sorts and at the end of their ropes. I feel called to minister to women who are hurting and looking for a friend. I am called to give HOPE to the most broken and the ones labeled “untouchable”. I thrive when I’m ministering to the broken (the first step was seeing my own brokenness).
Some of my various endevours have been merely stepping stones or open doors to live out my calling. Opportunities that take me to broken people…like when I work in the nursery or plan our town’s Live Nativity. It’s relational and often I end up being able to connect with someone who needs a listening ear or someone to pray for them.
My missions change from time to time. I’ve watched some of them end abruptly or slowly fade into the distance. I’ve watched some of my missions finish nice and neat with a bow or be sealed up in a coffin. But always…always, I walk away from living my calling knowing I am living fully ALIVE.
Living with purpose and in your calling is worth it…but don’t put God in a box. He may call you to various missions and they DO CONNECT! They connect at the Cross, friend. He is the Great Connector…let Him weave your story.
Maybe you haven’t discovered your Life Calling yet. That’s okay. Just do the next right thing. Listen to His still, small Voice and follow Him. Walk out today’s mission. Then one day you’ll look back and see your Life Calling staring you in the face.
(For further study, check out Annie F. Down’s talk on this topic. You won’t want to miss it! Watch it HERE. You can also check out Jennie Allen’s book or study series: Restless. It tackles Life Calling and connects the random dots of living life with your purpose.)
Living Brave and Courageous 