Living Brave and Courageous
A life on adventure with Jesus
Dear Graduate…
Twelve years ago I graduated from high school.
Now if you’re a teen reading this…you’re thinking I’m old right now. Twelve years is a long time, but you’ll be here before you know it, friend! So pick your jaw up from the floor and put your eyeballs back into your head.
This is kind of like a letter to all my young friends graduating. High school graduation is a big milestone. It’s hard work to get through school. The culture of it alone can be torturous.
So here it is, graduates….my perspective. What would I say to myself twelve years ago? Learn from my mistakes and jump ahead of the game!
Dear Graduate,
You’re embarking on the journey of a lifetime. It will be thrilling. It will be amazing. It may even be scary at times. But your Guide will never be far away and He is orchestrating each leg of the road ahead. Four things I would say to you above all else:
- Trust HIM. There will be days of heartache and pain and unexplained circumstances. This is life in our fallen, broken world. No matter how difficult or rough the journey, remember that He is Faithful. He is worthy of your trust. He is capable of holding your heart…even when it is breaking. He is the only unchanging One and the only One Who will always be there, always be near, always smiling and singing over you. Trust Him. Fully. Freely. With all of yourself, trust Him.
- Learn to say NO to things that don’t really matter. Say no to things that will bog you down and threaten your walk with Christ. Say NO to things that will clog your heart from the truth of God’s Word. Say NO to the things that aren’t God’s best for you. Often, the good things in life will keep you from the best, friend. Always reach for the BEST.
- Love people well. You will meet a lot of different kind of people in life…some will be easy to love and others won’t even be likeable. Choose to put on Jesus and love people well. All people. Broken people. People that aren’t like you. People who rub you wrong. Love people like Jesus does and you will change the world.
- Never let your fearful NOs stand in the way of your impossibilities for Jesus. The biggest obstacles to doing great, impossible things for God are when we let fear get the best of us and say NO. Don’t say no to Him. It may look ridiculously impossible…but that’s His business. And quite frankly, He enjoys the impossible. I have found in my own life when I say NO it’s because of fear: fear or rejection by family and friends, fear of the unknowns, fear of the outcome, fear of failure, and on and on. I wish I could say I always said yes to Him…but sadly, I do not always follow obediently. Those choices are some of my most regretted. Yes, there is grace and forgiveness, but I just can’t help wondering what life would have been like if I would have said YES.
In short, SAY YES to Jesus. Always say yes to Jesus.
Life isn’t one giant leap after another…it is small steps. Take each small step in His direction and amazing, impossible things will happen.
There will be thousands of things people say to you about these next few years of life…and to some degree, they may expect or even encourage you to throw wisdom out the door and “find yourself”, which really means “be selfish”. I’m saying the opposite. Dig in. Make His Word your number one textbook. Go deep with Jesus in these foundational years. Do hard things. It’s ok to be different from the world…to go against the flow for the sake of Christ. You have what it takes… I know that about you. You have determination, zeal and a love for life that will take you far if you use it for God’s glory.
Being radically in love with Him will change your heart AND everyone who comes in contact with you. John Wesley said, “Set yourself on fire with passion and people will come for miles to watch you burn.” I’m in agreement…so all that to say—Get on fire…for Jesus.
Today is the day, graduate. Get on fire!
Sincerely, A friend who’s been there before
DoorKeepers
The word “DoorKeeper” has been on my mind lately. While ministering in prison this past week, I tumbled on Psalm 84 again. It seemed full of meaning and purpose…both for me and the women I was talking to. The question kept mulling around in my mind: “What does it mean to be a DoorKeeper?
Several weeks ago I was at the coffee shop, studying and journaling. A scrap of paper fell out of my journal and I picked it up. On it were the words: “I want to be a DoorKeeper! Psalm 84:10” It was dated April 3, 2017.
That scrap of paper…I wrote eight days before Ms. Laurie went home to heaven.
Psalm 84:10 (ESV), “For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.”
The Message Bible says in the last part of the verse: “I’d rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.”
When I wrote those words last year on a scrap of paper, more than anything I wanted to hear God’s voice. Just to know that He was there. IN my heartache. IN my sorrow. IN my loss. Did He really hear me? I felt like teenage Joshua in Exodus 33:11 (HCSB), “The Lord spoke with Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his assistant, the young man Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the inside of the tent.”
In the deepest parts of my soul…I was starving for the face of God. Begging for Him to show up. So, when I came across this verse in Psalm 84, I felt like the cry of my heart was showing up in black letters on the page. I wanted to be where He was. Like Joshua, I didn’t want to leave the tent. If that meant staking my claim at the door of His house, I was staying. Right. There.
Ever been there? Completely wrecked and at the end of yourself? Waiting for the breath of God to come over you? Wondering if His robe would ever come close enough for you to reach out and touch?
A DoorKeeper in the House of my God.
If all I’m doing is scrubbing floors for Jesus or standing at the door and opening it for other people to walk through…isn’t that enough? Maybe…just maybe…if I stay right there at the door of His dwelling, I’ll see His face more often. I’ve tasted of His mercy. I have a seat at His table. So why not stand at the door and invite others to come in? To open the door for those crippled by sin, too sick to open the door themselves, or saddened by life? I want to be a doorkeeper.
So, last April, I wrote that on my scrap of paper. “I want to be a doorkeeper! Psalm 84:10. April 3, 2017.”
Doorkeeper’s jobs aren’t always easy. They stand between the world and the House of God. A bridge for people to see Jesus in the face of another human. Doorkeepers are real people with skin on. They are flesh and blood folks who make mistakes but know about the Hope of the Gospel and the Healing of the Cross. They stand at the door and hold it open for anyone who wants more. Anyone who needs help. Everyone who craves lasting peace or wholeness of spirit. Sometimes they open the door for someone who needs to go Home.
Doorkeepers are most often in the brokenness of the world but with the Hope of Jesus in their eyes. They aren’t afraid to do hard things and they live Brave because they know that Jesus is the answer to the world’s deepest hunger. You can find doorkeepers doing the unwanted jobs because they know it’s all about HIM and nothing about them. You can find them taking care of the sick, visiting prisoners, feeding the hungry, and talking to strangers. You will find them scrubbing floors, working in the nursery, teaching Sunday School or going somewhere in the world where they need to hear about Jesus.
Doorkeepers aren’t super-human. They are just people who have prayed the dangerous prayer…to be used for His glory. And they are content to point to Jesus while holding open the door to the House of God.
I’m not sure about you, but that sounds like the coolest job ever to me.
From where I’m standing today, a whole year after I prayed that prayer, I can tell you this: It has been the most ALIVE year I’ve ever lived and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Hard? Absolutely. It’s been the most difficult, life-shifting and challenging year I’ve ever had. It’s also been the year I’ve seen Jesus in the most incredible ways. I’ve seen lives redeemed. I’ve seen people come to Jesus for the first time. I’ve seen forgiveness in action. I’ve seen the truth of the Word literally CHANGE people…starting with me. And on my longest days of being a doorkeeper, I’ve went to bed saying, “There is nowhere else in the world I’d rather be today.”
This past week as I stood in front of a room full of women who had prison sentences for various lengths and for different reasons, I told them about being a DoorKeeper. In their faces, I could see the idea connect, because wherever you are on planet earth, you can be in the Presence of God. You can see His glory in prison. I told them: “There’s a job opening at the House of God for another DOORKEEPER. The only requirement is that you know Jesus. Crave His Presence. Let’s be like Joshua and stake out wherever He is. When that happens, you can bet people will notice and our lives will literally be Living Invitations to Jesus.” There were some resounding AMENS and the thought occurred to me…how different the world would be if there were more DoorKeepers and less DoorSlammers.
You know, the DoorSlammer type. They like to go in and out of God’s house with their click of friends. They are too busy to notice the hurting people behind them who can’t quite get the door open alone…so they inadvertently slam the door in their faces. DoorSlammers are well-meaning people who are self-absorbed and like their comfort zone too much to reach out to those who are different from themselves. Too many times I’ve been a DoorSlammer when I should have been a DoorKeeper.
I pray I now live as a DoorKeeper. Craving His Presence. Seeking His face.
It’s a great thing to be at the door of God’s House. His glory surrounds me. His love is toward me. I camp out here. At the edge of the tent, here at the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of His face. He is here. He is Jehovah. He has healed and brought hope to my weary soul. Time and again. It’s been an unforgettable year of ups and downs, but I have seen His face! I have heard His voice. I am learning to stake out at the door of His habitation.
Life Calling- Part 4
#4: Stop Chasing and Just Start!
In our Christian culture it feels like we LABOR over our life callings. Perhaps even to a fault. As if it’s our job to run after it and discover it on our own.
Here’s the deal. I think we need to be living our life intentionally and in full obedience to God’s will. His desires for us need to be priority. But what if we are putting too much energy into CHASING our calling and FINDING OURSELVES, when God’s plan is for us just to start where we are?
Believe me, I know how many books are out there about finding yourself. It’s a big deal in our current world. We toil at finding ourselves like we are a hopeless mess without direction. We ARE all of those things…without Jesus.
Y’all. We’ve gotta stop chasing our dreams and finding ourselves and running after a calling. We need to be putting that energy into seeking HIS FACE. We need to be finding Jesus…not trying to look for an important label to slap on our life so others are impressed with us.
The more I study the Word of God, the more I realize that He has everything my soul needs to be healthy. He knows who I am. He knows where He wants me to go. He knows what’s best for my life. When my focus shifts to His face, I am complete. I don’t have to stomp around dizzy with trying to find myself and chase my agenda. That’s a selfish and narrow-minded way to live.
So, if we aren’t supposed to chase our Calling (because it’s really not our job), what should we be doing?
When Jesus ascended into heaven, He left a Grand Calling for all of us. We often refer to it as the Great Commission. Every single Christ-follower on the planet has this command:
“All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20 HCSB
What makes your heart bleed in connection with this Grand Calling? Do you love teaching children? Are you burdened for the homeless? Do you connect with the elderly at your local nursing home? What about broken people with addictions or checkered pasts? Maybe you are a prayer warrior. Or someone who loves reaching out to teenage girls with unplanned pregnancies.
I can guarantee you this: You are called to somehow fulfill this Grand Calling. You may be a Goer…someone who will go to the hurting and literally give them the Gospel. A Goer will jump on a plane and travel to the ends of the earth, if needs be. Or…you may be a Sender. You use your resources to send the Goers of the world. You give financially. You pray your heart out for them. You give them high-fives and write far away missionaries words of encouragement. Either way, you are CALLED to be involved in the harvest.
The Great Commission isn’t an optional missionary program. It’s a COMMAND to ALL believers. It’s essentially one of the things that connect us as Jesus-followers. We all have a common goal…reaching the world with Gospel and discipling them to go out and multiply.
Start where you are. Stop chasing the all-allusive calling and start rolling up your sleeves for THE Calling. You don’t have to have a label to make a difference. You just need Jesus and a heart of obedience. Jump in and just start somewhere. Today.
Start with one. Start on your corner. Start at your work station. Start at your church. Start with your relatives. Start with your neighborhood. Start right where you are.
Don’t wait to get it all right and have a five-year-plan (whatever that even is!). Begin with open eyes to the needy world around you and an open heart to the Jesus Who knows exactly where you should be.
Don’t overcomplicate the simple things. Pray as you walk forward…knowing that if it isn’t Jesus, He will slam the door in your face. Take the next step. Stop trying to find yourself and start looking for Jesus.
I promise you, He will show up.
One day, your calling in life will be glaringly obvious to you and everyone around you. It will connect people in need and your passion and the Great Commission in a beautiful tapestry called YOU. Created by the Great Author and Finisher Himself.
Don’t wait. Start right now.
(This is the last of a Four-Part Series on Life Calling. Thanks for joining the conversation!)
Life Calling- Part 3
#3- One Calling, Multiple Missions.
Young ladies often ask me when I discovered God’s Calling on my life. They all want to know when my purpose was obvious for me and my AHA moment of realization that God had called me to something or someone specific. Funny thing is, I really can’t put my finger on a day…but I know the general time frame and (spoiler alert!) it really wasn’t that long ago.
I’ll be the first to say this: I believe God can reveal His will for our lives when we are young. He has called young people in their youth for thousands of years…so it’s altogether possible and beautiful. Part 4 of this series will deal with the “chasing our calling” idea but let me just mention that if we spent half the time DOING THE STUFF as we did SEARCHING FOR THE CALLING, we’d probably be better off. Jesus wants obedience and a willing heart…He isn’t waiting for us to “get it” so He can slap a Calling label on us. More on that next time.
So, what about “finding your calling” and “life purpose”?
Sometimes when I talk to people about the places and things Jesus has led me into, they have puzzled looks on their faces. Not necessarily because my life is amazing…but because it’s really random. To the naked eye my various rabbit trails of ministry seem disconnected and completely haphazard at times.
Writing. Working with teenage girls. Planning women’s Retreats. Leading home Bible studies. Caregiving for someone with cancer or kidney failure. Videoing and editing testimonies of men and women. Meeting friends for coffee. Speaking in women’s prisons. Missions in Ethiopia.
It seems rather unsystematic, doesn’t it?
There was a time in my life when I thought Mission and Calling were the same thing. Now, I think they work together but are different in function. I have one Life Calling and I think I’ll have it for the rest of my life. However, I’ve had multiple Missions in my life…and plenty more to come in the future, I’m sure.
My calling started when I was young, but I didn’t wake up to what it was until recently. That’s when I looked back over my life and saw where God had woven my unexpected circumstances together to create the picture of who I am.
Your calling is what motivates you to do what you do. It’s how God has wired you to operate and fulfill the Great Commission.
My calling is to the Broken people of the world. I’m way more motivated to speak to broken people about Jesus. I have a different kind of boldness and love and compassion when I’m in face to face with those who are hurting…and it motivates me in a whole new level. That’s my calling in action.
Your mission will change from time to time. You may have multiple missions at a time, depending on how you live out your calling at the moment.
I’ve had missions come and go. Some of my missions have changed based on location or circumstances. A few missions are for set time periods and then they are over.
Calling and Mission is like the difference between the War and a Battle. You’ve got to fight the battles to win the War. You can’t have one without the other and they are inseparably linked arm and arm. One motivates the other. One determines the other’s outcome.
I’ve led home Bible studies since the summer of 2013, but each study has a period of time that eventually wraps up. Then I pray about what’s next. Currently, I’m in a season of stepping back from leading studies because of other “missions” on my plate…but I crave “getting back in the game”. The women’s retreats I am privileged to help plan have set dates. When I go work in the prisons, my trips have determined times where I go and return home. When I step into my role as Caregiver, I know at the completion of my mission there, my friend will be in heaven.
I’ve come to believe that we each have One Calling, and Multiple Missions.
Look at Jesus! He called His disciples…and He didn’t change the way they operated…He changed their current missions. He made fishermen to be “fishers of men”. He took their natural motivation and used it in missions that would carry out His plan.
Perhaps it’s easier to look back on your life and discover your calling was right in front of you the whole time. It’s probably obvious if you look for it that way. What has made your heart burst with excitement and what weighs heavy on your mind? What are the gifts and talents that God has placed in you? Where are the places you feel the most useful and “on target”? What kind of needs do you always notice in others? When do you always feel the most compassion? What makes you weep for others?
There have been seemingly peculiar things that have made me feel full…like I was living in the exact purpose He has created for me. They have been scattered instances where I stepped into His Light and felt so flooded with boldness and a full heart that I thought I would burst. THOSE moments are the ones that helped me pin-point my life purpose.
When I lined them all up I saw that I feel the most called to people who are broken and out of sorts and at the end of their ropes. I feel called to minister to women who are hurting and looking for a friend. I am called to give HOPE to the most broken and the ones labeled “untouchable”. I thrive when I’m ministering to the broken (the first step was seeing my own brokenness).
Some of my various endevours have been merely stepping stones or open doors to live out my calling. Opportunities that take me to broken people…like when I work in the nursery or plan our town’s Live Nativity. It’s relational and often I end up being able to connect with someone who needs a listening ear or someone to pray for them.
My missions change from time to time. I’ve watched some of them end abruptly or slowly fade into the distance. I’ve watched some of my missions finish nice and neat with a bow or be sealed up in a coffin. But always…always, I walk away from living my calling knowing I am living fully ALIVE.
Living with purpose and in your calling is worth it…but don’t put God in a box. He may call you to various missions and they DO CONNECT! They connect at the Cross, friend. He is the Great Connector…let Him weave your story.
Maybe you haven’t discovered your Life Calling yet. That’s okay. Just do the next right thing. Listen to His still, small Voice and follow Him. Walk out today’s mission. Then one day you’ll look back and see your Life Calling staring you in the face.
(For further study, check out Annie F. Down’s talk on this topic. You won’t want to miss it! Watch it HERE. You can also check out Jennie Allen’s book or study series: Restless. It tackles Life Calling and connects the random dots of living life with your purpose.)
Today is a Good Day
Today is a good day. The sun is shining outside my window and my heart is full.
But oh friend, there are days. There are days that don’t feel good. The kind where you feel like crawling back into bed and hibernating…or at least crying “Uncle!” loud enough for the neighbors to hear. There are days where the clouds of doubt and confusion seem to thick to see through. That’s when we really can live brave.
Being brave looks different for all of us. There are stages of life and there are various platforms that He gives us to walk on and teach from. Living Courageous for me over these past years has looked radically different than I imagined…and it has literally rocked me to my core.
In April of 2016 I received a call about helping a friend who was fighting cancer. Her husband needed someone to take care of her while he was at work. She was one of my mom’s friends…and ironically had the same first and middle names! (photo of my mom and Ms. Laurie) Saying NO really never entered my mind at the time…but I had no idea what saying YES really meant. And maybe sometimes, God does that on purpose.
I began this journey of taking care of Ms. Laurie. At 56 years old, she was full of life and loved to laugh. We laughed a lot together. In between getting her meals, letting her take naps and doing therapy and meds….we had long conversations. She loved to talk about heaven and Jesus. I don’t think I really knew how much those talks would mean to me…but in hind sight…she probably did. We cried together and through the pain…we bonded. Like women do…but also in a special way…almost like a mother and daughter would.
Gradually, we saw that she was slipping away. I think for months I was in denial. I just really always thought she’d pull through. With every passing week, we saw her lose capabilities. She lost her ability to walk, and talk and even feed herself.
That’s really hard. Perhaps one of the toughest times to live brave and courageous is in the middle of heartache. When you’re staring cancer in the face, day after day. Ms. Laurie lived brave. She exampled that to me. But I had to choose to live brave too. I had to get up in the morning and choose to walk in that door knowing that I was investing in someone who wasn’t always gonna be there. That didn’t make a lick of sense in my human brain.
I can remember most days driving to their home and crying all the way there. I can remember looking myself in the mirror and saying I couldn’t. Do. It. One. More. Day. I just kept hearing God ask me…almost like a good coach…”Faith, can you give me just one more?” One. More. Day. In a weird way, that’s one of the things that helped me navigate that year. My patient Coach Jesus just kept giving me a small step to take. One. Day. Always promising, that He would walk it with me.
Maybe Brave Living is just a bunch of small steps towards Jesus. One. Step at a time. One day at a time. One minute at a time.
One year ago today, on April 11th, 2017, Ms. Laurie went to heaven. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what it felt like to sit there next to her and realize that she had finally met with Jesus face-to-face…and I was left behind.
I didn’t know what to do. The grief was overwhelming. I struggled with depression. I battled insomnia. I felt like I was living in a fog and I didn’t know how to get out. I had to fight every Sunday to get out of bed and go to church…and when I did, I’d cry through the service and try to put on a smile in the hallways. I had never lost anyone that close, someone who I loved like a mother.
What does it look like to live strong when the world around you is crumbling and nothing makes sense? Something this big will show you who you really are. Who you really are will come out when you’re under pressure.
In those months of grief, God broke me. I was living my life on the edge. Wondering if I’d make it emotionally past the next day. I cried constantly and I felt like I was burning bridges with friends because that’s all I seemed to talk about and I couldn’t move past the pain.
Then one day, several months after Ms. Laurie had died, I went to her grave. I was so busted up and just felt so sad and lonely and out of sorts. I remember kneeling in the dirt next to her grave and crying. AGAIN. And when I could finally talk, I said, “God, you have to hold onto me, because I can’t hang on anymore.” It was a desperate prayer…because I felt like I was on the fringes of total burnout and disbelief.
I can’t really explain it, but I walked away different that day. It was like I had transferred the weight of my sorrow to Jesus…and I asked Him to stay true to His promises. That He would be there. That He would walk with me. That He would hold onto me and Not. Let. Go. I could feel the freedom to stop white-knuckling my way to the Throne. Because He would do the saving and the keeping and the holding.
That day changed me. Slowly, God began to reveal Himself to me in beautiful, unexpected ways. He let me know how much He loved me. He let me know that He was there. He let me know that He cried with me. And gradually, I could feel the shift in my soul.
He was healing me.
It didn’t come overnight. He came softly. Because I was so broken and fragile that I needed Him to be that way. There were days I cried and just lifted my hands to Him…because I didn’t have words to say what I was feeling…and He understood anyway. He’s that kind of Father.
My brokenness changed my outlook on life. I began seeing others with new eyes. Eyes of compassion. I suddenly saw broken people…because I was broken myself. I could see their needs. Their pain. I could identify with the hurt. I cried when I heard the word cancer. I wept for people like never before.
God doesn’t waste anything. He only builds on our past failures and brokennesses in a way that gives us more of a platform for service to Him. That’s what He was doing for me. All those months of pain and heartache were training ground for Him to send me to broken people. And my mission field was the prison system.
Women’s prisons. I had said yes far before I was equipped. And then God took me through some tough months of training before I ever set foot behind bars.
Prison Ministry was way outside of my comfort zone. I never would have dreamed that it would hold my heart like it has. I stepped into a correctional facility for the first time on October 2nd, 2017 and I’ve never been the same since.
I went in there still broken and hurting from loss. But ya know, that’s the very thing that connected my heart with those women? When I told my story…they cried. They could identify with pain. With hurt. With not understanding why God does what He does sometimes. And then I could also stand there and offer them HOPE. The very hope that held me together for all those months of depression and grief. I could give them Jesus in a way that I never could have a year earlier.
Life doesn’t always pan out how we think it will. In my mind as a girl I figured by this age I’d be married and have a few kids running around with a baby on my hip. I’d have the white picket fence and the porch swing and my house would be full of laughter.
Then there’s Jesus. He wrecked my little plan and instead, has offered me Himself. That journey has been the most painful, brave-hearted trek I’ve ever made. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Because in the storms of life…He makes me courageous. He holds me together. So I can afford to be brave!
Yes, today is a good day, because He is good.
Hope has a Name
Loss seems to linger sometimes. Unwelcomed, but still there. Showing it’s head when you least expect it and reminding you of what it’s taken from you.
I recently had one of those reminders. It caught me by surprise.
I was at a movie with some of my siblings. It was a great story line. Engaging. Real. The part that hit me unexpectedly was raw. Like reopening an old wound in my heart.
One of the lead actors was dying of cancer on the screen. And he looked the part. It was real. There in full color, bigger than life experience, I was face-to-face with cancer and death. That’s the moment it hit me.
To be sure, it was a sad part of the film…but it wasn’t gut wrenching for everyone. Yet, there I sat stunned by the fear and memories welling up in my heart. The lump rose in my throat and the dam broke. Tears came rushing down my face and I stifled the sobs. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that in a theater. I literally held my face in my hands and sobbed with my shoulders shaking. I didn’t even feel awkward that I was probably making a scene. The sadness overwhelmed me.
Just like that, my mind was miles away reliving the moment when I said goodbye to someone I loved dearly. The screen showed a person dying of cancer, but I saw someone else. I remembered the day she went home to be with Jesus. I remembered the grief and debilitating fear that gripped me after she was gone. In that moment, sitting in the theater…I missed her, and it sort of took my breath away.
Cancer. It doesn’t just affect the people who have it in their bodies…it eats away at the souls of those closest to the sick. It hurts. Painful memories, and yet those are the same ones who literally have shaped me into who I am today. For that, I am grateful. If truth be told, I don’t want to be who I used to be. So, I breathed thanks through the tears in that theater. Holy thanksgiving.
I get home and still find myself fighting tears. I cry because I miss her and it’s hard to relive those hard moments in my mind. How long does it take a heart to heal? And will I ever feel normal? Will I ever be able to watch a movie like that without falling into a million pieces?
I cry for myself. I cry because I’m selfish and I hate change. I cry because of all the things she’ll never be able to do with me…like be at my wedding or meet my kids. But then, she wouldn’t want to trade heaven for this…so I learn to let go.
Maybe this is what it feels like to LOVE. Free and brave, despite the pain in the end. Despite the letting go and the change that comes. No matter what uncomfortable things we have to do or face. We choose to LOVE and sometimes that means letting go. Loss is like that sometimes.
Tonight, I sit here and weep a little more. You see, I’m caregiving again. And although every caregiving journey is different, there are parallels that mirror what I went through last year. Reminders of the pain. Little things that creep up and take me back to her bedside in my mind.
This time, it’s different because I’ve traveled this road before. It hurts…knowing I may be only steps away from saying goodbye to another woman who I’ve been watching slowly fade. I don’t like goodbyes. I don’t like change.
“For we know that the whole of creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now…” Romans 8:22 (HCSB) I can feel it sometimes. The craving to be out from under the suffering of earth and liberated to see Jesus in all of His glory. This world is broken, and we all know it.
Loss. It can cripple us. I’m learning slowly to lean into the hurt and cling to Jesus in the process. To hang on to the only One Who never changes. The Rock Who will never be shaken. The One Who will make me soar with wings like eagles…if I wait on Him.
In the end, loss doesn’t win. Cancer doesn’t win. Death doesn’t win. In the end, Jesus wins. In those theater moments where we have tears streaming down our faces and sobs shaking our shoulders…we need that Hope. Hope has a Name! His Name is Jesus and in the end, He wins.
Loss might rule today, but Hope is coming. His name is Jesus.
Life Calling- Part 2
#2: Be Useable.
“But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.” Isaiah 64:8
One of the things I pray for on a regular basis is that Jesus will keep me useable. That may sound weird, but I can tend to be so about myself (aka: selfish) that I don’t have room for showcasing Jesus to the world around me.
Being in a state of usefulness is key to living in your calling or life purpose. You simply can’t be fully alive in your potential if you’re too full of yourself. Selfishness, fear, and pride are huge road blocks to following Jesus whole-heartedly.
Warning: Keeping you useable may be a painful process. More often than not, God has used brokenness to keep me useful for His glory. My greatest hurt and pain has given birth to some of the greatest opportunities to share Jesus with others. Living in my calling means me living in some of those wounded places. Places that are hard. Those situations that truly take the ME out of me and can showcase only Him…that’s when people see it’s not Faith Walker. It’s Jesus alive in a broken woman.
As painful as it is, I wouldn’t trade being useable for being comfortable. I don’t want to just sit on the shelf because I’m too afraid. Or too proud to get into the mess. Or too selfish to sacrifice.
I once wrote this about being useable:
Strange things happen when you’re doing dishes. Or at least for me they do. Yesterday I was doing dishes at my brother’s new house. My second younger brother is getting married next month and needed some help settling in. So, there I was…washing new dishes and putting them into clean cabinets.
New dishes mean one thing…sticky price tags. All of them screaming to be removed. I must have peeled and scraped and scrubbed fifty stickers off. They are very persistent little things and yet so rewarding. The first dozen or two gave me a feeling of satisfaction when the dishes were smooth and clean. It made me feel good.
Then it started getting boring. Monotonous. Even agitating at times. So, I started thinking…what lesson could I learn from this? When I begin asking myself questions like this, I know I am really grasping at straws, but it was starting to get on my nerves…this whole sticker business! I needed to walk away with more than a stack of smooth-bottomed plates and bowls, I wanted some spiritual food for thought!
Then it came to me. Or HE did. All these beautiful dishes are worthless if they stay boxed up, wrapped up, and stickered up. To be useful they must be unwrapped and ready on a shelf for easy access. I won’t eat a bowl of cereal from a bowl that is in a box of Styrofoam peanuts and wrapped up in age-old newspaper. No! I need them available. I need them at my fingertips. I need them unstickered.
Wow! That truth got me right between the eyes. Maybe God was standing there at the sink with me, whispering truths into my soul. I heard Him stirring my heart to see myself in those stickered plates. How often was I the one staying packaged up? It got me thinking. Staying packed up doesn’t change my value. It changes my usefulness. I can be a lovely glass in a box, carefully wrapped up and protected from any danger… Or I can be a beautiful pitcher that is used for His glory.
Maybe it is my fears holding me back from doing bigger things for God. Perhaps in an effort to protect myself, I peek out from the safety of my Styrofoam peanut-bedded box and shiver. “Not me, Lord. Can you pick someone else? How about that sturdy looking plate over there? You know how easily I can chip!” So I stay in the comfort of my newspaper padding and never grace the table of my King. I am valued, but not useable.
Standing there at the sink suddenly became therapy. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. A prayer bubbled up in my heart. “Lord, I want to be used. Unwrap me. Wash me. Unsticker me. Please…use me. If I chip, still put me on Your table. If I crack, mend me. If I break, heal me…but Father, please use me.” I felt the words of Isaiah pouring from my soul… “Here am I Lord, send me.” (Isaiah 6:8)
I want to be useable. I want to be available. Some days that may mean leading a Bible study or tutoring a child in math skills for the glory of God. My work can become my worship, if my heart is toward Him. Some days that may mean teaching children at a kindergarten class or listening to piano students plunk out their pieces. Other days it might be cleaning up vomit or folding ten loads of laundry. Yesterday it meant scrubbing stickers off new dishes.
Friend, I am convinced that God has a place in His heavenly cabinet just for you. A place where you can be available for His purposes…right at His fingertips. The thing is, you have to be willing to get out of your foam-peanut-box-of-comfort and get your stickers taken off. You also need to be ready to be chipped…for His glory. Be vulnerable. Live dangerously for Jesus…that’s called being brave.
Living out your life purpose means being useable for Jesus. Are you with me?
(Part in italics originally written on May 5, 2015 for the Polished Cornerstones Ministry blog.)
Life Calling- Part 1
#1: JESUS knows your story.
“For I know the thoughts (or plans) I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NKJV)
Ever wonder what the future holds for you? Of course you do. It’s a natural thing built-in us to wonder and ask questions.
I think such curiosity is even more obvious in young people. We feel like we’re standing on the edge of our future and we’re not sure if we should be thrilled and excited or trembling in fear!
I’ve talked to lots of teenagers and most of them are asking questions about the future. Their future. What does it look like to walk through the door of adulthood? What career should they choose? What about life-calling…and when will they find it?
I get it. It’s a huge thing (especially in our Christian circles) to wonder deeply about our hearts, our futures and life calling. That’s why I’m going to be writing a little bit about life calling in the next few weeks. We all want to know… What does Jesus say about my future? And we become painfully worried that we will miss God’s calling on our life.
So, for starters, we need to get one thing straight: JESUS KNOWS. He knows all about you. He knows the road you have before you, the gifts and talents inside of you, and how He can use them for His glory. He knows the end of your story as well as He knows your beginning. He knows that you can be victorious. Think about this…
The headings in my Bible are great. They help me find the stories I am looking for and remind me how each story ends. Headings are helpful in life. In books they’re called titles. In the newspaper they’re called headlines. All of them giving a glimpse into what is to come.
So that got me to thinking….what if I knew the ending of my story now? What if the stories in my life were titled like they are in my Bible? What if I knew the end at the beginning? It struck me how very differently I might live my life if I knew the outcome ahead of time. This could go either way…maybe I would be overwhelmed or maybe I would be encouraged. Or perhaps both.
Humor me and think about that for a minute. What if you knew the ending of your life story right now?
This lured me to start looking through my Bible at the headings. Now I realize the titles are not inspired…but they are helpful. Here are some examples from my Bible:
The flood ends. Abram inherits Canaan. Lots captivity and rescue. Isaac marries Rebekah. Isaac’s twin boys. Jacob marries Leah and Rachel. Esau sells his birthright. Joseph sold by his brothers. Joseph’s rise to power. Seven years of famine. Moses at the burning bush. God gives Moses power. Miraculous signs for pharaoh. Israel’s deliverance assured. The Red Sea crossing. Bread from heaven. Water from the Rock. Rahab hides the spies. Gideon’s valiant 300 men. Gideon subdues the Midianites. Sampson defeats the Philistines. Boaz redeems Ruth. Samuel is born and dedicated. Saul is chosen to be king. Elijah revives the widow’s son. Elijah’s Mount Carmel victory. Elijah ascends into heaven. Naaman’s leprosy is healed. Isaiah is called to be a prophet. Hosea takes back his unfaithful wife. Jonah finally obeys. Peter’s mother in law is healed. Jesus feeds the five thousand. The empty tomb. Peter freed from prison. Paul and Barnabas are chosen. Peter raises Dorcas to life. The conversion of Cornelius.
Now take a minute and visualize with me. What if the above people had seen their chapter headings before they walked through their stories? (Take time to reread some of these again!) Would Moses have been as frightened at the burning bush? Would Gideon have trembled when God chose him? Would Naaman have doubted his healing? Would Jonah have gotten it right the first time? And seriously…would everyone had still cried over Dorcas’s lifeless body?
Each of these headings help me look past the yucky parts of the story…after all, I know what’s coming! I am compelled to read on through the uncomfortable facts…like floods and famines and battles, knowing that the end is what really matters. These endings are beautiful. Faith-filled. God-breathed stories of His power.
To be honest, life doesn’t usually give us those glimpses of greatness ahead of time. I am in awe of this thought. What if I lived my life in the shadow of my heading. How would I make my next move? Would I be as overwhelmed if I knew that I win in the end? And yet…I live too often as if I am already defeated. That made me dig into a few more of my Bible headings:
Victory in Christ. Christ is coming quickly. God answers prayer. God is love. Walk in the light. Heaven is worth the wait. Be doers of the Word. God keeps His promises. Never give up.
All summed up, God has the end of our story. He knows that we are more than CONQUERERS. He has planned out every move. When we are faced with a decision…a big move in life, I want to think it terms of my ending. What does God want from me? His Spirit and His Word agree. He will give us wisdom if we ask for it. (James 1:5-6). Yet, sometimes I spend more time worrying about the next step. All the “what ifs” crowd my brain. I spend more time wondering and pacing the floor than trusting in His writing of my story.
I don’t know about you, but I want to be numbered with the faithful. The saints who have gone on before are my heroes of the faith. The folks in Hebrews 11 are regular people…but they trusted in the God of their stories. They knew that He was orchestrating their next move. They understood His heading over them.
Why don’t I start living my life like that? Why don’t I start waking up each morning knowing that God has all my moves planned out…He sees the bigger picture. My only responsibility is to trust His all-powerful knowledge and obey His leading. Then, and only then, can I know my heading is clear. My title is obvious. I am a conqueror. My story will end in greatness…because He is the Author and Finisher of my faith.
“Now unto Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus…” Ephesians 3:20-21
He knows your story…beginning to end. Let’s trust Him and follow obediently. It’s a grand adventure of courage to walk with the Creator of your story!
I’m looking forward to diving into Scripture and talking about life calling, our stories, and what we can do to follow Jesus. Feel free to reach out to me with questions on this topic or just to tell me your story! Invite your friends to join in the conversation (you can receive the following posts to your email by following my blog).
Let’s be numbered with the faithful. Let’s walk in our stories with courage and obedience.
(The post in italics was originally published on the Polished Cornerstones Ministry blog on March 25, 2015.)
Jonah and Me
Have you ever said NO to God? I have. Many times, in fact. Fear and lack of bravery holds me back far too often. One time in particular sticks out in my memory as a Jonah experience…here’s what I wrote two years ago about it:
Years ago, I used to read those verses in Jonah 1:1-3 and think…what is this guy’s problem? Does he really think that he can run from the Lord? That was then. This is now…and NOW I have realized something: Jonah and me….we have this problem. We are in the same boat. Sometimes literally. I am quite sure that Jonah is somewhere in my family lineage way back. I’m just way too much like him to not be related.
You see, the more I walk with Jesus, the more I realize that He sometimes calls us to do uncomfortable things. Crazy things. Hard things. Ridiculous things. Awkward things. Radical things. Way-outside-our-box things. All for His glory.
That being said, I have a major confession to make. I have to tell you an inside story to a weekend event a few weeks ago…
There is a wonderful sweet lady in my community named Pam, that I know and we have come to do ministry together. About a year ago, she came and asked me to speak at a women’s conference. She wanted a “warm up speaker” for an annual Christian women’s event in February 2016 called Ladies Day Away.
I said NO.
She asked me again.
I said NO.
Third time is a charm, right? She asked me again. I decided to get spiritual and say “I will pray about it”.
How many of you know that when you pray about something you better be ready to get a green light? I fought with God. Actually, I FOUGHT WITH GOD. I argued. I pleaded. I tried to convince Him that I wasn’t the one. The more I begged, the more He gave me counsel through His Word that He wanted me. I felt stuck. I knew better than to say NO to God, but this is one of those times that I seriously debated jumping on a boat headed for Tarshish. Or one heading anywhere but speaking to this group in February 2016.
Jonah and me. We have issues.
Lots of conversations with my parents followed…they know me better than anyone, but most importantly, they know my Jesus and they could see the struggle in me. They prayed for me, with me, and encouraged me to obey and trust God for the details. I was stuck. Everywhere I turned I heard my name called. Every verse I turned to was telling me to go. Every song I heard was about obedience. Every voice was telling me to listen to my Heavenly Father. The sky seemed to spell out neon signs: “GO AND SPEAK”. I was caught…scared to death to disobey God’s leading and equally as frightened to walk in the path the Lord was asking me to.
Pam is a sweet and patient woman. She wouldn’t take NO for an answer. She kept telling me that she felt God wanted me to speak. She also asked me on several occasions: “do you ever feel like you have a whale on your tail?” I knew what she meant…she was calling me a Jonah. Wow, did she ever know me, or what?
Jonah and the whale became our standing joke. Whenever we talked about it, there was some sort of exchange about Jonah or a whale. Comments like “well, I don’t want to be swallowed by a whale” were common. We weren’t just laughing though, we knew it was serious business to disobey our all-powerful God.
I finally said YES. Reluctantly. I stood on the brink of the unknown feeling terrified to move forward, but even more scared to death to turn back. God wanted my submission…my obedience. He wanted all of me. My fearful heart. My uncertain future. My inabilities and corks. He wanted me…FULLY and FREELY. He wanted 100% of Faith Walker.
I have to tell you, once I said YES, it did feel better inside. Obedience always gives way to freedom, but don’t think for one moment that I felt like I was out of the woods. No ma’am. I was now only at the beginning of a very long road that I felt would surely lead to my death. Crazy how our imaginations run wild, isn’t it?
For months, every time I prepared part of my message to share…God would tell me it was all wrong. I would crumble the paper and start over. I would try again. Cram it in the trash. This went on for months.
In the meantime, God was dealing with my fears. I’ll be honest here and tell you that I am not a fan of public speaking. Hate is a strong word, but I might even use that word in conjunction with speaking. Speaking for Bible study sessions on video even nerve me up (little plug for our online Bible studies!). I’m totally serious. I’ve had meetings with three people that make me squirm. No joke. I’m just not the limelight-lover. Everything about this event made me want to throw up.
Added to that was the fact that the majority of these ladies would be moms and grandmas…neither one of which I am. Teen girls I get. Children, babies and toddlers I can handle. But women? Why does that make me worm in my seat? I honestly felt God had made a horrible mistake. Pam kept me well-informed of the registration numbers coming in and every time I wanted to barf. I would go right to God and remind Him of what a mess I was going to make for Him in February if He didn’t do something.
So, He did. Instead of fixing the event or letting me off the hook, He opened His Word one morning. It hit me between the eyes…or at gut level.
“The word of the Lord came to me: I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations. But I protested, “Oh no, Lord, God! Look, I don’t know how to speak since I am only a youth.” Then the Lord said to me: Do not say, “I am only a youth,” for you will go to everyone I send you to and speak whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to deliver you. This is the Lord’s declaration. Then the Lord reached out His hand, touched my mouth, and told me: I have now filled your mouth with My words. See, I have appointed you today over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and demolish, to build and plant.” Jeremiah 1:4-10 (HCSB)
HE was speaking in February. I was just the mouth piece with which He was going to do it through. And who was I to question His abilities to use a weak, young, blubbering, scared-to-death girl from a little town in Southern Michigan to complete His work? I kept thinking about Jonah.
Jonah and me have doubting problems. We have better ideas. More qualified friends. We have more comfortable plans for our future. Ones that don’t involve dangerous or unpleasant things. Like telling others about Jesus when they don’t want to hear about it…forget that they are facing judgment…Jonah and me value our safety!
Time and again, God convicted me of my UNBELIEF. He is the Author and Finisher of my faith (no pun intended). He is my soul’s Anchor and the King of kings. He is Creator of all and Keeper of eternity. Why do I doubt His ability to use a fragile person…when He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and has breathed the stars into existence?
I have a puny view of God…so I view impossible situations like that impossible. Forgetting that my Jesus is the God of the impossible. The Lord of everything. He is Love. He is Life. And He is the Writer of my life story…how dare I grab the pen and tell Him He is writing it all wrong?
The day arrived and I could feel a peaceful rest fall on me. Inside I felt waves of nervousness and uncertainty, but each time I felt incompetent, I reminded myself that this was His ball game…I was just along for the ride! There were dozens of prayer warriors scattered across the United States praying for me. I read the two passages of Scripture that God had given me over and over, quieting my turbulent heart. The section in Jeremiah and also a part in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31:
“For you see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the mighty; and base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: that no flesh should glory in his presence. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.”
I prayed as I’ve never prayed before. Putting on the headset microphone and staring at the stage, I thought…this has got to be a dream (or a nightmare!). Jonah and me. I told you we have trust issues. I kept hearing God’s voice…asking me to lean like I had never leaned before. They announced my name. One foot in front of the other, Faith. Just don’t barf. 20 minutes and it will be over. I stepped foot on the platform…and a miracle happened. All fear vanished. All the butterflies in my stomach, the shaky hands, the dry mouth, GONE. So this is what it means to ride with Jesus!? I’m all in.
After I spoke that Saturday, I felt filled to the brim with joy unspeakable. Obedience does that, doesn’t it? It makes us full as we follow the path of Jesus, no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it may seem at the time. I was standing at our Polished Cornerstones booth during one of the first breaks in the conference when lovely Miss Pam walked up. She was holding a box. “This is for you darlin!” She handed it to me. It was heavy and I was curious. As I unwrapped the paper, I smiled.
There in all the tissue, was a beautiful glass whale. I laughed. Then I teared up. I’ve been given a lot of gifts over the years, but few have meant as much to me as this little glass whale. Why? Because it has a story. A story that beckons me to follow Jesus…or else. Jonah and me…we sometimes learn the hard way.
What about you, friend? Has God called you to do something dangerous or uncomfortable and you’re looking for a boat to Tarshish? Take it from someone who is a fellow whale-on-the-tail gal…He will not call you and then leave you unequipped. He will give you exactly what you need at the precise moment you need it (and probably not a moment sooner!). Why? Because He loves using weak people to showcase His glory! Your inabilities are a beautiful way for Him to shine through you! Riding with Jesus is always an adventure, friend. Why not say, YES…and then watch Him show up in a bigger way than you’ve ever imagined? You can do ALL THINGS through HIM who strengthens you!
I’ve had people ask me, will I speak again? I laugh…nervously. Can I be honest? I still feel like Jonah. If God asked me to stand on a stage again and speak to 400 women I would feel like running for Joppa (to find a ship to Tarshish) AND throwing up. That’s my knee-jerk reaction. Just because I’ve obeyed once doesn’t mean I will jump into speaking engagements or other uncomfortable situations every time God brings one around. No ma’am. I will be slow and deliberate and cautious. Really…because I KNOW that if Jesus isn’t in it, it will be a miserable failure. I’m not a public speaker. I’m just a child (along with Jeremiah), I’m a coward at times (like Gideon), I’m broken and scared (like Moses), and I’m for sure a runner (like Jonah). So…to answer that question: I hope that by God’s grace I will answer YES to whatever opportunities God asks me to fulfill. God doesn’t need my confidence, He just wants my obedience.
For all the uncertainty and fear and unknowns, it was a great day. I had fun. I learned a lot. I had many wonderful conversations. Actually, come to think of it and to quote my ever-smart mother, “we had a whale of a good time”!
(Above post in italics originally published on the Polished Cornerstones Ministry blog, March 17, 2016. You can also watch the message given that day in February 2016 by clicking HERE.)
Urgency in Your Singleness
Singleness can be a lot of different things. It can mean a whole varied group of feelings and opportunities. At times we can call our singleness words that are warm and good and kind to us. Other times singleness can mean things like ALONE or STRUGGLE. I get it. All of those words have, at one time or another, summed up how I feel about my relationship to singleness.
Well-meaning people say stupid things sometimes (I’m in that party, so I can say that). But we need to clear the air, folks. Singleness is not a disease. We need to stop acting like it is. It’s a season of life…just like high school or dating or marriage or raising small children or retirement. Singleness is a gift, but only if we choose to open our eyes and see it as such.
This being said, I sometimes feel like marriage is so far in the future that it just may never come for me. Ya know? So yes, it sometimes feels like I’m inoculated against marriage…and I never agreed to it! How come I’m not “catching” the engagement epidemic going around right now?
Yes, singleness can mean different things in various times of life. In moments, I feel like being single woman is one of the greatest gifts of all. I can be free to drop my life and run to hurting people, wherever they may be on the globe. Jesus is where broken people are…so being with Him wherever He is always the greatest JOY of my heart.
Sometimes I see singleness with words like LOVE or LAUGHTER or FREEDOM. Depending on my mood or where God is taking me, it can even mean JOY or REST or ADVENTURE. My word to describe singleness can change. Right now, my word is URGENCY.
Urgency.
Why a word like urgency? If I’ve learned anything about this season of life called singleness is that it will probably not be forever. Maybe it will be for me…but it probably won’t be. At least, not from a statistical point of view. Most girls eventually get married. So, even if I have another ten years of being an old maid, spinster or unmarried gal…I will probably one day change my last name.
That means my days as a single woman are numbered.
Urgency. What if these days of complete and total freedom to jump into whatever mission trip or long night writing projects or life-changing opportunities are only for a brief time? Hear me say: I think you can be wonderfully effective and mission-minded as a married person. Absolutely. Totally have seen couples and families who live like eternity is at stake (which it is).
But the reality is that your focus shifts when you marry. The Apostle Paul affirms this in 2 Corinthians 7:32-35. It’s a simple and obvious fact that happens, and rightly so. Priorities have to shift when a girl marries and has a family.
This realization hits me where it hurts…because my singleness might not last forever…and I want these years to actually count in eternity.
What if I get to heaven one day and I find out that I could have been more useful in my singleness, but instead I spent it worrying and hoping and praying for marriage instead? Again, hear me say this: marriage is beautiful. God designed it to showcase the Gospel! But if we put marriage above Jesus and His plans for us right now, it suddenly becomes iniquity and covetousness which equals SIN.
Urgency. That’s what I feel when I think about being nearly 30-years-old and still single. When I step back and really think about it all in the light of eternity…I want to hit the ground running! Singleness is a beautiful time to be on adventure with Jesus in a way that no other season of life can present.
So what if I live a comfortable, selfish life as a single girl and forget all the things that REALLY matter? Wouldn’t that be a tragedy? Why not follow hard after Jesus…even if it’s hard, even if it’s expensive, even if it’s uncomfortable?
It’s important to feel that burning in my soul to give my ALL to Jesus. That’s what urgency feels like. Sometimes it feels like running around with my head cut off…because I can. As a single gal and I want to use all my energy for His purposes. Sometimes it feels like multiple trips to prison in the same year to share Jesus with women behind bars or saying YES to foreign soil so I can see the glory of God in a new dimension. Urgency can feel like your heart is pumping out of your chest because you’re way outside of your comfort zone but you don’t dare step out of the light He has put you in. It can feel like a face on fire as you realize you’ve got to speak up for the sake of truth. Or it can feel like sitting quiet at a picnic table as you hear the whisper of His Voice. Urgency can even feel like a good kick in the pants.
Urgency is a funny thing. So is singleness. Beautiful and broken at the same time.
I embrace them both…sometimes haltingly in my own humanness, but always knowing that His plans for me are good. He will be with me.
May your heart burn with a passion to love Jesus with how you LIVE your life. That’s what it’s like to live with Urgency in Your Singleness.
Living Brave and Courageous 