Even Church Girls Need Jesus

The moment is burned into my memory. The conviction I felt in my little five-and-a-half-year-old heart as I listened to the revival service. I had been in church since in utero. I was there every time the doors were open. Why would I need to be saved? What could a five-year-old possibly need saved from? Here’s the truth…

Even church girls need JESUS.

Even church girls. The ones who grew up going to church all the time. They teethed on the Bible, went to every VBS program, won awards in AWANA and went on mission trips as teenagers. Those girls need Jesus. The Gospel isn’t about bad people being made good. The Gospel is about dead people coming to life by the power of the cross. And all of us are born dead in sin. Even church girls.

That revival service in 1994 was my moment of realizing that perfection is required for heaven and I wasn’t perfect. That’s why I needed Jesus. I walked the aisle with my dad, crying and feeling this weight in my chest. I was only five, but I can remember that crushing inside that I felt. Since then I have recognized that to be the Holy Spirit…so lovingly inviting me to a closer relationship with Him. I don’t know what I said, but it doesn’t really matter because it’s less about what I said and more about what Jesus DID. He forgave me. Washed me. Rescued me from myself.

February 26, 1994 was my reborn day. Thirty years ago. Still, it’s my favorite day.

As I got older, I had moments in time when I moved into the Gospel in other ways…realizing that it is for every day. Awakening to the truth that I need Jesus for every single day. When I get upset at how my world is spinning or people who treat me with disrespect, I need Jesus. When I am in the darkest days of depression, anxiety and fear, I need Jesus. When I am in the middle of excruciating pain and undergoing surgeries, I need Jesus. In my daily mama duties of making food for a toddler, washing laundry and nursing a 4-month-old, I need Jesus.

I need me some Jesus, friends. Every day.

No one is perfect, even if they pretend to be.  We like to act like once we become Christians that all of life is right side up and we are good to go. There’s even some shaming that goes on between Christians who think you shouldn’t have problems after you have Jesus. I don’t know what planet those people are from, but they must not be reading the same Bible because in John 16:33 Jesus says, “I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

“Consider it great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do it’s complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

It’s okay to not be okay. Somehow in our quest to be obvious followers of Jesus to everyone we have dismissed our need for Him. However, it’s okay to share your problems. It’s permissible to have questions and acknowledge that you need Jesus to answer them. It’s human to have needs that you ask God to meet. Don’t carry them all alone. Be honest.

The western world is full of fake Christians…but the unbelievers who surround us want us to be authentic with our faith. They want tangible evidence of Jesus being real. We need to admit that we are church girls who still need Jesus. Church girls with needs and questions and concerns…that we are daily taking to the cross. Church girls who admit our weakness and God’s strength. Church girls who aren’t prideful and religious but are so in love with this Jesus Who not only saves, but daily redeems our messes. A Jesus who steps into our mess and walks with us.

Why did Jesus come to earth? Two reasons. John 10:10, “I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.” The Gospel is about salvation, yes. But it’s also about ABUNDANT LIFE. That’s the part we learn to live out each day. Our neediness for Christ speaks of His power alive in us.

We’ve heard this phrase all our lives: “I don’t mean to preach to the choir…” Let me tell you, sometimes the choir needs the most preaching to! I call it religious baggage…and people with it are the hardest people to reach with the Gospel, because they aren’t aware of their need. WE all need Jesus, even those in the choir loft! Y’all- we need to preach to church people. The second we think we are “safe” because we are in church, raised in the church and doing God’s work, we are dangerously UNsafe. I’ll be honest: I’ve met a lot of church girls in prison. Pastors’ daughters. Christian counselors. Youth group leaders. Homeschooled kids. Church secretaries. They thought they were safe doing all the religious things…but just a few wrong choices and they were suddenly sitting in a place that they never dreamed they’d be.

Sin is not a respecter of persons. Even church girls need Jesus. Every single day.

Before my current job in prison ministry, I worked mostly with the demographic of young women raised in the church. It later morphed into church women of all ages. I loved my job and really thought maybe that was my lifelong vocation. My biggest challenge? Pride. Because church girls think they are good. In comparison to “worldy” gals they felt pretty smug. And let me tell you…this attitude they came by honestly because the church ADULTS were saying the same thing. There were so many conversations I had with parents or pastors who said the words “we have everything our girls need, we don’t need any outside help.” Or “my daughter is doing so good. She’s so mature, I don’t think she needs this.”

For context, our ministry hosted weekend retreats for girls who wanted to go deeper in their walks with God. We talked about relevant topics like identity, beauty, personal relationship with Jesus, witnessing, friendship, etc. It was always discouraging because I knew as a twenty-something their girls weren’t safe. They were only two steps away from being in trouble. I know this because all of us are only two choices away from being in hot water. The first offense we may get off on but the second one will land us in jail.

Then in 2017, I volunteered for the first time to go into a prison and share about the Bible. Within two days I knew this was my calling. Like stepping into the light of what I was CREATED to do. One of the biggest epiphanies for me was the hunger for Jesus I witness behind bars. The desperateness for God. The obvious neediness.

“It’s helplessness, not holiness that is the first step to accessing God.” – Dr. Tim Keller

I came home from that two-week trip into Florida prisons forever changed when it came to ministry. I wanted to go to people that have that kind of hunger…not just of their sakes but for mine! Watching God redeem and step into the messes of other women day after day renews my hope in the Gospel. It strengthens my hunger for the Word of God. It challenges me to dig into Scripture for answers to my life answers.

In a way, prison ruined me…because I was instantly tired of going to those who thought they were good and instead craved going to those who know of their need. Just to be clear- not all church girls/women pretend they don’t need Jesus…I just found it not to be the normative, in conservative culture especially. Like the difference between ministering to the older brother versus the prodigal in the parable of the two sons found in Luke 15. The truth is, I NEED JESUS and sometimes I forget this. I want to be constantly reminded of my dependence on the Creator of the Universe for my very breath. I literally wouldn’t even want Jesus or be drawn to Him if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit. My hunger for the Word is awakened by Him. I need him for every single part of my Christian walk.

Thirty years after saying YES to Jesus for the first time, I’m in awe of His faithfulness to me when I am prone to wander. Predisposed to forgetting my need. Inclined to doubt His goodness. This is why…

THIS church girl needs Jesus. Every. Single. Day.