Mountains and Base Trails

“I’m tired of doing life my way.”

Her words seemed to echo in the concrete room. I could see it in her eyes. She was done with her old life. She was weary of the string of bad decisions that landed her in jail. Tears streamed down her face as she held my hand and spoke those words. She was only a few years older than me…but with a long history of heartache and sadness. Some from her own choices, and some from the choices of others. Her words cut to my heart.

“I’m tired of doing life my way.”

If we’re honest, life isn’t always what we’d like it to be. It’s not supposed to be this way. Or at least that’s what we feel deep in our souls. Life should be easier. It shouldn’t feel like walking through molasses with knee boots. There shouldn’t be things like cancer and death and broken relationships and divorce. We feel that things like disability and child illnesses and premature birth shouldn’t be okay. The affects of a broken world cut deep into our souls.

We want our lives to be easier. Simpler. More understandable. The map of life at times seems shrouded by clouds of uncertainty and pain.

Our paths are all different. Sometimes we make the trails more difficult by trying to blaze our own way through things God never intended us to. Sometimes we wimp out and miss the view.

Several years ago I went to a state park with Tim, who is now my husband, but at the time just a friend. It was a cold time of year and because of the chance of rain, we decided against climbing the mountain and instead chose the base trail that wound around the bottom. The base trail was simpler, less climbing and huffing and puffing, as per usual. There was a calmness about taking the base trail that I hadn’t experienced before. It was steady and slow. There wasn’t any huge physical exertion and other than crossing a cold creek, I didn’t have any difficulties.

We could walk and talk without me having to stop to gain my breath. Since we were in the trees, we didn’t have the chill of the wind and I didn’t have to be as careful with my footing.

I realized that life is like that. Sometimes we take the base trail and wind around the bottom of the mountain. We can’t see the beauty much, but there’s stillness because the trees block the wind. Other times we fight to climb the mountain. The hike up to the top is colder and windier, but the beauty is worth it in the end.

We have base trails in life that we need to hike. We have mountain climbs that we are called to do as well. We need one to appreciate the other.

I see it repeatedly in the eyes of women I meet behind bars…the craving for more. For something that satisfies the longing in our bones more than the temporary thrill of sin. Something that is steady and unchanging in the face of a shifting world. We all want security amidst all the instability.

So we run and chase things that don’t measure up. Most often we run from the very thing we are seeking…truth.

“I’m ready to face my demons. I’m tired of running,” another woman told me at the same county jail. Tired of running. Tired of doing life our way.

We need the map and we need the Guide. The One Who can tell us which trail to take…sometimes at the base of the mountain to appreciate the stillness and other times the tough climb up the mountain side to appreciate the view. Both are important at the right times.

I don’t know about you, but I’m weary of creating my own path to where I think I should be going when I have a capable Guide Who knows where I need to be and when. He is trustworthy. He is kind. And He is certainly the best Companion to walk with along the way. When we are tired of our own way…He has the map, He has the experience and He has the wisdom to help us face our pasts and stop running away from, but TO Himself.

This year, I’m starting out with new goals and dreams…but ultimately, I know the path He chooses might turn out different than I expected. That’s okay. I’ve hiked enough with Him in life to know Jesus is the best Navigator. I’ll leave the road to Him and just follow His footsteps. 2024 is going to be a great year!